I hate the cold weather.  The only good thing:  I want to light a fire in the fireplace.  Need to buy a cord of wood though.  I am hoping that by exercising and losing weight I get through some of the Winter blahs.   David threw another episode this morning before school.  He just gets so angry sometimes.  It is so frustating.  He is only 11, going on 12 and sometimes it just seems he is not enjoying life.  I mean, it is not like he is living in Ethiopia or Iraq!  We are so blessed and sometimes all he sees is what he doesn't have, or sees what goes wrong, not what goes right.  I don't know why he has to throw things and smash things all of the time.   Going away, it was hard leaving the dog.  My mom watched her, which was great.  I don't think I could board her with everything that she has been through.  We have done so much for my mom, and I love her and I NEVER ask for anything.  But she made me feel so guilty about watching the dog for a week.  She has a dog herself (although he is 14.)  And she has a very large fenced in yard.  Yes, my dog is only a little over a year and is still sort of a puppy.  She has a lot of energy and wants to play.  I know her dog really doesn't want to be bothered.  But she is a doll baby.  Very affectionate.  Does not chew on anything but her own toys and no accidents in the house.  I love her.  She is my baby and I am very protective of her.  I guess she just fills that need for me.   I am waiting to see if I win this trip in May from work.  I almost wish I do not win.  Then I won't have to worry aobut someone to take care of the dog.  I also won't have to worry about taking my husband and son and dealing with their issues, arguments, moods.  And I don't have any friends I could take.  But deep down, I wish I could go.