Well, I went to see N at the hospital last night.  I felt horrible after she was crying on the phone with me two nights ago.  I hate to say "no" to her staying her.  I feel such guilt.  God has really blessed me.  Husband, son, puppy, beautiful home, job making good money that I like for the most part, family, etc.  I have the ability and the means and the resources to take care of N, including the 1 story ranch with no steps.  With her leg all messed up, she is not supposed to be going up and down steps.  So the hospital was almost begging me to take her in as she has no where else to go.  Now I really feel guilty because they are going to send her home.  She is training how to bump up and down steps on her butt.  But my God, she has no hot water, no washer, no dryer.  Now the toilet isn't working (and God knows how long it has been like that.)  She has to fill a bucket with water and dump it in the toilet to flush it.  The mold is completely covering the lower level family room, powder room and laundry room.  She even commented (when I brought her a box of tissues to the hospital per her request) that "You know?  It is funny.  I have not had to blow my nose hardly at all since I have been in the hospital."  HELLOOOO!  Could it be because there is NO MOL?!?  Also, inches and inches of dust and cobwebs everywhere in her house.  The one room is not safe to walk in due to the termites have kind of eaten their way through the floor and it is full of holes.  The smell is pretty bad.  The neighbor/friend across the street wants to turn her in to adult protective services to have the house condemned.  I feel guilty enough not taking her in and taking care of her.  I don't want to be the one who is responsible for having her home taken away.  She is agoraphobic and hates being around strangers.  Functions at work at the local drug store part time.  But barely.  Grass is 2 ft+ tall.  Stacks of unbagged trash everywhere in that house.  I want so bad to go clean.  And I have people who tell me I am enabling her.  And maybe I am.  And she sort of drives me crazy.  Not that she is not appreciative, for I feel she truly is, but that she expects the help.  How I can feel that she appreciates the help and yet expects it, I don't know, but in some respects I feel taken advantage of, but have no one to blame but myself.  But the Christian in me says that I have to help her because I can.  When is it right to say no?   I feel bad.  If the circumstances were different (if she were anyone else), I would take her in in a heartbeat.  My Aunt lived with us for 6 months after Hurricane Katrina.  I helped her file unemployment.  We even helped her get what she could out of her apartment that was salvageable back up here.  We helped her move to her new apartment, helped her file for FEMA assistance and even helped her find a new job.  I cook anyway, but at least my Aunt was able to clean herself, wash her own clothes, and would help do the dishes.  And I KNEW that as soon as my Aunt got a job and saved a little money and found a place to live, she would move out.   But N would sit in that room with the remote and there would be no incentive for her to leave.  And ultimately, she would still be in the same boat moving into a home unfit for anyone.  So now I feel horrible that she is hurt and has open wounds and is going back to that. And yes, an environment of her own making.  She never cleans.  She did not maintain her house.  She did not replace the hot water heater when it broke and leaked all over and started the mold problem.  God, I wish I did not feel so awful!