I've been having a bit of a hard week, but I shouldn't complain too much. I have a deep pain in my heart, an emptiness because of my brother. We used to be so close, and now he isn't the same person I grew up with, in fact, he's become someone I dislike and I feel guilty because of it. In a sense, I feel a little abandonedby him. On top if that, my anxiety has grown to astronomical levels. It isn't even in social siturations, it's just that I have fear for things that are irrational and out of my control. I have constant adrenaline, I always feel like I'm in some sort of danger and when I don't hear from people I care about I always think of the worst possible scenario happening to them. It's completely irrational and I know it but it's so hard to block those thoughts and feelings. On the other hand, sometimes I'll be really calm, sitting in a comfy chair reading a book, when suddenly I get a rush of adrenaline for no reason and I'm fearful for a good while after that. But I have to be positive. I do great in school. For the most part my family is harmonious. I'm in good health physically. I have no enemies, that I know of haha, and the small group of friends that I do have are very sympathetic and supportive. When I think about it, my life is pretty much in control right now, and I have to tell myself that the deep problems that do torment me have a purpose, and every problem has a solution. It's just a matter of searching.