Today I looked around me and noticed that when I looked at people around campus, because I attend a university, no one ever looked back or just glanced over like I was a chair or something. I especially felt like a ghost today, floating around and passively observing other people live their lives, so desperately wanting to join their world but really only a piece of me is heard here and there and i'm only seen when I do something like drop a book, trip and fall or run into something. Then I just feel like an idiot and for the rest of the day, or the rest of the week for that matter, I go back and think back to that moment of weakness and I end up feeling inadequate, insecure and all alone for a painfully long period of time. I shouldn't obsess over those moments, but I can't help it. It's just one of those chains that keeps me from being a whole person.
Replies