I am so sick and tired of feeling unhappy. It's getting bad. I wake up with a feeling of dread every day. I even get nauseous at the thought of another day. This can't be normal. Yet I don't want to go to my doctor and change my prescription yet again. I'm sick of feeling this way. I'm tired of dealing with life on life's terms. My kids are 5 and 3 this month and I got jack shit as far as Idea's for their Bday. I'm at a loss. I feel overwhelmed all the time and never good enough. I love them yet I want to be free. I can't stand my husband right now. I can't be touched I feel like a raw nerve turned inside out. Everyone is telling me this too shall pass....oh yea? when. I hear everyone and look at your journal entries I don't want to burden anyone with my shit attitude. I pray this gets better. I forgot on purpose to do Shane's listening again. IIt's not worth the hassle. And I'm the only one doing it. Damn it.
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Lisa I can completely relate to what you are saying. I felt the same way in the past. Time off was no fun because you knew you were coming back to the same sh-t. My husband was completely unsupportive and abusive, so in the end my marriage fell apart. But in a normal marriage I would say you need to discuss it with your husband and brainstorm on how things can change to make things better. (Daycare, Nanny, His Help, etc) If your husband isn\'t there for you, then perhaps you can do something that gives you time away each week (hire a babysitter one day a week, pick one night a week when your husband is responsible and you go to dinner with a friend, etc). Mind you, I was completely unsuccessful at doing any of those things, but I remember getting that advice from friends.
I wish so much that I could help, because I remember that feeling of helplessness and hopelessness. It\'s scary to not know when things are going to feel better, or if ever.
Feel free to drop a note if you want to talk further.
I can remember when my daughter was born. I had painc attacks after panic attacks. I never got any sleep and dreaded each day, even though I loved my daughter. Thanx to the meds and some counseling I am better now BUT there are some days that I wake up and not get out of bed. I hope that you will be feeling better soon. Just remember that you 2 children love you very much!