Day 22
Today is day 22. I checked my email and there was none. It was really silly of me to expect something. I think I am worse today because it's my day off and I'm moping here in front of my computer - my biggest enemy because we usually SKYPE at this time. All sorts of things are going on in my mind. There is a strong typhoon going to the island where he is living. I don't know what to think really. Do I wished him harm? not really. I think I am wishing that he'd talk to me and tell me what had upset him. It will probably never happened. I just wished he's out of my mind for good. But I missed his thoughtful and caring ways.
I guess I need to heal so I can move on. Kinda hard to move on if I don't know what caused our break up. But he won't even give me that. Oh well.... Another day of heart break...
I guess I need to heal so I can move on. Kinda hard to move on if I don't know what caused our break up. But he won't even give me that. Oh well.... Another day of heart break...
Replies
I\'m so sorry to hear that. I also expect an email or something from time to time. I don\'t know how some people are so good at cutting people out.
I actually spoke to my previous ex, she told me something. She said, \"you didn\'t do this, She did it, stop blaming yourself for something that she did\"
I don\'t know, sometimes it helps, but there are always gonna be tough days. Just remember that there was nothing you could have done and there is nothing you can do now.
Thanks for the kind words Mark. I really appreciate that knowing you yourself is hurting. Perhaps more so than I am. Yes, looking back now I thought that we were forever. I guess men can lie just as good as women. Funny really. He used to quote me something about \"no such thing as honest men and women, only honest intentions\" or something to that effect.
My common sense kept telling me to not look back because he really was not good for me. Nowadays he has become alcoholic and can\'t sleep without his Ambien and hydrocodone, perhaps because of his PTSD. I don\'t really want a man like that. I need to keep looking forward. Today was just a set back. Thanks again....