Day 17
I came to this site seeking support and people in the same situation. My BF and I had been in a relationship in the last 4 1/2 years - until he moved overseas and things started to unravel. I guess the distance and the "eye candies" of so many available young women falling at his feet (and he's not even Romeo!) was the death knell. He changed and the communication between us became further and further apart. It's been 17 days since I heard from him last. Maybe he might have messaged me, he might not have. But I am not going to open my emotional wounds by checking until I am ready.
So in the last 17 days, it has been 3 steps forward and 2 steps back. Yesterday I was so-so. The day before was bad because I'd been on days off and was left moping at home. This morning I was tempted to check my messages, but did not. I'd been strong. I checked my internet SMS though, not really hoping for anything and found an old message where the bastard snapped at me for waking him up! That was enough and my anger welled up. What a selfish, lying, unreliable low life he really was. Compared to his good traits (thoughtful, generous and loving when he wants to be), his bad traits overwhelm them. And I won't give excuses about his mental health issues. He should have told me!
I will keep this journal updated as I heal or take a step back (I hope not). Have a good healing day everyone.
So in the last 17 days, it has been 3 steps forward and 2 steps back. Yesterday I was so-so. The day before was bad because I'd been on days off and was left moping at home. This morning I was tempted to check my messages, but did not. I'd been strong. I checked my internet SMS though, not really hoping for anything and found an old message where the bastard snapped at me for waking him up! That was enough and my anger welled up. What a selfish, lying, unreliable low life he really was. Compared to his good traits (thoughtful, generous and loving when he wants to be), his bad traits overwhelm them. And I won't give excuses about his mental health issues. He should have told me!
I will keep this journal updated as I heal or take a step back (I hope not). Have a good healing day everyone.
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Today is day 18. I gave in and checked my emails. There was nothing from him. I guess it is well and truly over. Well, the path of healing is facing me. But I must admit it deflated my heart.
I don\'t really know how I am feeling at the moment. Kinda sad how it could all end this way. Our dreams, our plans, our holidays and living in the tropics eventually (with me following him in a couple of years). I guess the kind of person that he is, is one selfish ass who never felt the same way I did for him. I just hope I get over him soon. I had to check my emails earlier. I can not not check it because the bulk of my emails goes there. I think I need to get used to the idea of going there and not seeing an email from him. Life goes on....