Dear Journal,
I am very emotional today July 11 because today supposed to be the day we go on vacation together to Yellow Stone. I still can't believe this is happening seemed like it was just yesterday and been almost over four months now that he's gone. I promise to go to his grave today and my daughter is going to go along with me with my grand daughter. She is the reason I survived. We babysit our grand daughter together the day before he died. I can still see his face when I walk to him and told him this " Thanks Hon for having me and giving me two beautiful children and this grandbaby" He looked at me smiling but his eyes was sad! I think he knows something is going to happen. I felt so guilty I keep thinking about the What IF situation. Why I did not try to help him out that he was coughing so hard. I ignored it because he have cough every year but he always recover. When I read the signs of heart attach I found out that coughing is one of them signs. God please help me to heal. I LOVE YOU and I believe that you are GOD of all and I praise you. Please help me to overcome with my sorrows. See you again next time Journal.
I am very emotional today July 11 because today supposed to be the day we go on vacation together to Yellow Stone. I still can't believe this is happening seemed like it was just yesterday and been almost over four months now that he's gone. I promise to go to his grave today and my daughter is going to go along with me with my grand daughter. She is the reason I survived. We babysit our grand daughter together the day before he died. I can still see his face when I walk to him and told him this " Thanks Hon for having me and giving me two beautiful children and this grandbaby" He looked at me smiling but his eyes was sad! I think he knows something is going to happen. I felt so guilty I keep thinking about the What IF situation. Why I did not try to help him out that he was coughing so hard. I ignored it because he have cough every year but he always recover. When I read the signs of heart attach I found out that coughing is one of them signs. God please help me to heal. I LOVE YOU and I believe that you are GOD of all and I praise you. Please help me to overcome with my sorrows. See you again next time Journal.
Replies
Oh Tigersocks! My heart goes out to you today! It is so hard to think of all the lost fun and vacations together!! How we long to go back to those times when life was fun and carefree with our Honey!! I was looking at pictures of our last vacation together. We were so happy and unaware of the change that was coming to our lives. I keep wondering if we only knew, we could have hugged harder kissed more or something. But it\'s gone now and we are trying to make sense of the life that we have ahead. I know how you miss him! I miss Bob so much too! But by God\'s grace we will carry on!! He is a good God. You can trust Him! You are in my prayers today
Dearest Tiger,
Your journal made me cry. I am so so sorry you have to go through this sadness. It is so hard to bare...with God\'s Grace we can heal. God promises; He heals the broken hearted. Slowly, slowly life will change from this state of despair......this Grief has so many layers, of loss and it takes time. God is Good all of the time. I rest in Him.
I hope your cemetery visit was comforting. My big granddaughter was so close to her \"Sabby\", she insist sometimes on going to the cemetery with me She is just going on 9 yrs old. That was and still is, one of my biggest heartaches,the memory of his sadness of \"leaving\" his grandchildren.
You are in my prayers, love Sandra.
grandchildren
thank you JesusOurSaviour