Thursday, August 28, 2008 – 6:10 P.M. This week started out badly, and never got much better. I have been faced with more problems than usual. I am getting through them one at a time. There are solutions to most problems, if I just take time to analyze each situation, and then look at the options available to me. It also helps when I remind myself to keep moving forward. Because of my increasing dissatisfaction with my home healthcare agency, I have been considering changing to another one. Monday afternoon, a CNA with the agency I had before this one, came to see me. He said he was trying to get that agency to let me return to it. On that same day, my physical therapist gave me the name of another agency, along with the name of its owner, and urged me to call it and make inquiries as to what benefits I might receive by signing up with it. I felt that I was under a lot of pressure to make a change even though I had not yet decided that was what I really wanted to do to begin with. After giving this considerable thought, I have decided not to do anything until talking it over with my doctor and his social worker when I see them next Friday. My physical therapist informed me that she was going to recommend to my doctor that I continue with pool therapy, but will need to get it at a community pool, such as at one run by Easter Seals. That will require me to have someone lined up who can give me skilled care. When I realized everything that needed to be done, it threw me into a panic, because I thought I would have to be the one to make all of the arrangements, and I did not know how to do that. I now feel that my physical therapist will need to do some of the work, while my doctor and his social worker can do the rest. My sister and I met with my social worker (Dale), at the mental health clinic, on Wednesday. It was another “family” conference, but it did not include our brother. I think it was a helpful and worthwhile meeting for both of us. I will be going there again in about two weeks (without my sister), and then our brother will be asked to join us in October. Dale asked each of us if we thought our brother loved us. My sister said yes, and I said no. That shocked my sister, who tried insisting that he loved me, but I disagreed. I am not going to deny how I feel about this. When my brother joins us, Dale is going to try and find out if he wants to take part in the family. I was told that I really needed to prepare myself in case my brother says no. Since I already believe that is how my brother feels, I cannot see any way he could hurt me more than he has already. While getting me out of bed Tuesday morning, my newest CNA did something he was not supposed to do, which caused me to have a bladder problem most of the day. Since I was having a lot of pain by mid-afternoon, I notified the home health agency of my situation. A nurse was sent out to assist me. She was able to identify the problem, and to alleviate my pain, but the damage was already done, and I now have another urinary tract infection. When the CNA did not come here yesterday, I (incorrectly) thought he had been replaced. If he messes up again, that will be the last time I let him help me.