Tuesday, July 01, 2008 – 10:00 A.M. I am seeing my physical therapist this Thursday, and my doctor on Friday, July 11, both of which are good since my pain has increased along with the area it covers. The Percocet helps, but I do not want to be on narcotics for the rest of my life. Tomorrow afternoon, I am seeing my psychologist. I still need to talk with her about more of the sexual abuse I had. It is not a pleasant topic, but one that I cannot let go of until I feel better about myself. I need to try and understand why my abusers treated me as they did, and why I still feel as though I brought it all upon myself. I think I cooperated with them in order to survive, but did that make me crazy in the process? There are many DS friends I need to contact, but am unable to do so because of the pain I am having. I will try catching up with everyone ASAP. Quotes for Success: “Success is a state of mind. If you want success, start thinking of yourself as a success.” Dr. Joyce Brothers
Replies
I don\'t think it made you crazy. I think you are sane and trying to survive in a crazy world. It\'s hard not to turn crazy when you are surrounded by crazies.
Sexual abuse is RAMPANT. Denial is RAMPANT.
Please share any insights your psychologist has on why they did what they did. From all I\'ve read, there is not much information on the behaviors of abusers. I theorize all the time on why it happens. Is it repressed sexuality? Is it evil (I don\'t really believe in good vs. evil but some stories have me wondering)? Is it simply selfishness? Ignorance?
I also wonder if the self blame isn\'t simply us reflecting how abusers and society thinks. I was raped and blamed for being raped. Nobody questioned him. If that many people could think it was my fault, then surely it must be my fault?
you did what you had to do, when you are a child and an adult abuses you, it is fully the adult\'s fault and responsiblity, I see this type of thing alot, and I am always suprised at how adults can treat children, you definitly should work through this with your therapist,
and I don\'t know if it helps, but dont blame yourself, you were a child,
blaming oneself for being abused is common, but it was not your fault in any way