Sunday, June 15, 2008 – 11:10 A.M. After I saw my doctor last week, I became very depressed because there was some bad news, which I have managed to keep to myself. I now have “severe scoliosis.” I knew that I have had scoliosis for several years, but now it is much worse. I researched it on the Internet, but the articles I read did not give me much hope that much can be done to help me.   This Tuesday, I am to be evaluated for a different type of physical therapy than I have been getting. Some studies that say it helps people, while other studies say it cane make the scoliosis worse. The last possibility is back surgery where metal rods are inserted along the spine. This kind of treatment has several possible complications, including infections, and numerous additional surgeries, all of which could make things much worse.   Most articles said that depression is also a factor in trying to treat this. This is treated with the help of mental health therapists, counselors, and social workers, all of which I have seen in the past, or am seeing now. They are just not aware of my situation, but they will be next week. The mental health angle just makes everything worse. It did not make me feel even the least bit optimistic. On the contrary, I think that was when I began having my suicidal thoughts.   I am going to watch some videos today in an effort to take my mind off these problems. If we continue to have good weather tomorrow, I am going downtown to take care of some odds and ends.   Quotes for Success:   “The worst bankrupt in the world is the man who has lost his enthusiasm. Let a man lose everything else in the world but his enthusiasm and he will come through again to success.”   H.W. Arnold