Tuesday, May 20, 2008 -- 10:50 AM Late yesterday morning, I went to see my social worker at my mental health clinic. I am not quite sure how that turned out. Sometimes things get somewhat confusing for me. When I went into his office, I told him that I was not in a very good mood. He said that was all right because sometimes he learns more about people and the problems they are having when they are angry and need to blow off some steam. He said a lot of my problems went back to my childhood (as if I did not know that already), and that those problems relate to the ones I am having now. He also said that I needed to let my guard down and be more open when it came to expressing my thoughts and emotions. I told him that I talked with my sister and she had agreed to go in for a conference with me. After getting home, I decided that I really did not want to do that. I cannot see how that will help anything. Once again, we talked about my getting a service dog. I told him that I thought there were so many problems related with this, that I felt as if I was "stuck,” and could not decide on how to go forward. He gave me until this coming Friday to call the agency that provides the Freedom Service Dogs and make an appointment to go see them. I am supposed to call him on Friday and let him know whether I have made an appointment. I do not think he said what -- if anything -- he would do if I said I had not. I am getting somewhat angry with one of the CNAs who puts me in bed at nighttime. She apparently called the agency last night and said that she had become very sick and could not come to help me last night. She and the other CNA who helps me at night are both scheduled to go to some type of religious convention tomorrow night, so their office asked if it would be okay if they put me to bed early. Since they had no backup, I do not feel I had any other option other than to go along with that. I am very unhappy about the situation because I have a feeling that once they start putting me to bed early (even for one night) they will want to do it more often. This afternoon, I am going to get some physical therapy. There seems to be some confusion as to how much longer I can go there since I have Medicaid. There have been several days my therapist could not see me, as well as days when I could not see her. It was my understanding that those days would be made up during June. Since they do not have me scheduled for any days at all during June, I am not sure whether I will be getting more help or not. This sure is a mess. Quotes for Success: “What am I willing to sacrifice for what I want to become?” Anonymous
Replies
Toughlove Weebs here - your sis needs to go with you.
Hugs and Mojo.
I have nothing of any importance to say to my sister.
Thanks for the H & M
Hey, I sure hope the CNA\'s don\'t start trying to make a habit of that, I can really see how that would be a real pain, I am sorry you are having to go through this. HUGSSSSSS
I am trying to imagine your frustration at having some of your power eroded with the bedtime schedule changing. I would be afraid of losing some of my autonomy and ability to plan my life. I hope you can assert your concerns and get some reassurances that the schedule you agreed to will be maintained. We are talking about your quality of life, after all. This is a reasonable concern of yours and I hope it gets treated with the respect it deserves.
I\'m happy to see you not feeling obligated to your sister. You must have anger towards family whether it is deserved or not. Plus, she is a trigger.
You need to publish your story so you can be financially stable and hire reliable people. I can imagine a future like that for you, Jim. I saw a man at the shopping mall yesterday and he made me think of you. He had two friends or aides with him and they were taking such good care of him.
Keep fighting!
Yes, I do have a lot of anger directed toward my family. Nevertheless, I do not see what can be achieved by my getting into an arguing match with my sister. I am closest to her and even though she makes me angry much of the time, she also gives me a lot of positive support and encouragement. I am afraid of losing this, since I am only close to one other member of my family, and that is my sister\'s daughter.
I have contacted the head of staffing with my home health care agency, and told her that I did not mind making a change in my bed time for one night, but that I would not tolerate it happening every night. If they will not go along with that, then I will find another agency to help me. I need to keep reminding myself that my quality of life should be of the utmost importance.
If I ever publish my story, which seems highly unlikely, it will not be written under my own name. I have enough stress writing about it on Daily Strength, and I think that to write it under my own name would be more than I can handle.
I agree. You don\'t need to argue with your sister. I have argued with family a few times now and it only makes me feel worse. I\'ve had to tell them to stay away because I cannot trust myself not to be abusive towards them. The anger is too much sometimes.
I think a different name would be a great idea.