Monday, May 19, 2008 -- 9:55 AM   I am not in a good mood this morning. I had a lot of pain throughout the night. It was centered mostly in my legs and left hip. This morning I took a pain pill, but it does not seem to be working yet.   This morning I am supposed to see my social worker at the mental health clinic where I go. I am not looking forward to this at all. Ten days ago, he gave me some type of questionnaire to fill out and have ready for him by today. It has to deal with losses and letting go. I do not see how that relates to me, and wrote that on the lines where my answer was supposed to be. I am sure that he will not approve of that. Tough luck. I know that he will also want an update on the situation regarding my trying to get a service dog. For all practical purposes, there is no update to give. The last time I saw him, he said that I could not change my mind and give up on it. He added that he was not going to let me do that. (I would like to know how he is going to stop me if I do not want to do something.)   I am sure that my depression has gotten worse overnight. I am going through another one of those periods where I feel angry with almost everyone. Some of the anger is directed at one of my CNAs who is leaving later in this week for five-day vacation. Two other CNAs who help me at night, said that they are going to some type of convention on Wednesday evening and will not be here to help me. They do not know whether their office has a replacements for them on that night. They told me to call the office and check on it. I feel that is their responsibility, rather than mine.   Sometime this week, I need to go to the bank. That means taking three buses downtown, and then three more buses getting back home. I am not in the mood to go through all of that hassle. However, I have been putting this off for a couple of weeks, hoping that my sister would stop by to help me, so I guess it is mainly my fault for having put it off this long. This is not made me feel any better toward my sister, and I seem to have a lot of anger directed at her.   Quotes for Success:   “The two hardest things to handle in life are failure & success.”   Anonymous