I have been very depressed today for a number of reasons. A good part of the day was spent copying journal entries from last July into an e-mail that will go to my psychologist. While I was working on them, I read most of them and became depressed in the process. It seemed as though I was complaining about something in almost every entry, and I do not like being a whiner. I really do not like bothering other people with my problems and being a burden on them. I can always lock my journal so that nobody can read my entries, but I think that by doing this it would be defeating a large part of the purpose of writing the entries to begin with. Early this afternoon, I stared temptation in the face and came away a winner. My "druggie" friend came visiting, and just seeing him sitting in my front room, caused me to start craving for some drugs. I really wanted them, but something helped me to avoid getting any. I think my Higher Power is looking over my shoulder these days. Another thing happened this evening, which really made me angry. My personal care provider was getting my clothing together so that she could wash it. While gathering it all, she came across a brand-new pair of pants that had been completely ruined by what appears to be bleach. It looked as though someone had hidden it way behind one of the laundry baskets. I do not know who did that, but I think it must have been one of the people who put me to bed at night. The one thing that I definitely do know for sure is that sometime on Monday I am going to make a complaint to my home health care agency about this. I feel that the agency should replace the pants at no cost to me. Tomorrow morning I am going to my sister's house to have an Easter breakfast/lunch with her and some of her family. I do not really want to go there, but since I have not gotten my wish for a foot of snow, it looks like I will not have any other option. HAPPY EASTER TO EVERYONE!
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Hope you have a nice easter sunday hugs-Stephanie
A foot of snow?? I\'ll send you two! lol
By all means, complain about the pants, Jim. They DO need to replace them at no cost to you.
And don\'t ever think of your self as a burden in any way, shape or form. Not only do your journals help you, but they help us as well. There\'s alot of strength and knowledge in your writings, and I for one have on more than one occasion found myself questioning a decision and have wondered, \"What would Jim do in this situation?\"
Reading back on past journal entries should show you how far you\'ve come, Jim. Don\'t let it depress you my friend. Celebrate your accomplishments and victories and congratulate yourself for meeting goals you never expected to reach. Make sure you point out to your psychologist that those first entries were the old Jim, and this is the new and improved Jim!
A very Happy Easter to you my friend.
Today...chocolate rules!!!! :o)
Jill
xoxoxoxoxo
You have stared your whining in the face and looked at it all. And now you know what you need to work on. That was the first step?
If you don\'t take the first step, you\'ll remain where you are.
You have taken many steps since I\'ve known you here. Good ones, not so good ones... but the GOOD ONES column I KNOW is longer.
Weeble hugs and Mojo...
Awesome ! I have been thinking of you drug friend lately. I think one of you journals was about him when I first found DS. I am so glad you were able to keep yourself on your goal path. That took an awful lot of doing. Gosh, push that goal meter up a notch!
It is hard going through old journals here or anywhere else. I know sometimes, I think, did I actually feel like that then..? It can be confusing and unsettling.
Again, it also shows your great progress.
Your colors and your Easter picture were much appreciated.
Thank you, Jim