I am somewhat sorry to say that I will be cutting back on the number of journal entries I have been making here.  A number of factors have contributed to this.  I have not been getting much sleep due to the fact that I am having a lot of pain in my ankles and legs from the injuries I sustained in December.  The lack of sleep makes me irritable and sometimes very grouchy.  I am also having almost daily flashbacks to the sexual abuse I received both as a child and as an adult.  I believe that I was making some progress in this when I was writing in my PTSD journal.  However, the shame and embarrassment I felt somehow led me to believe that just by my ability to talk about it openly on this site, meant that I was healed.  I suspect that in actuality, I was still in denial about a lot of things and events that occurred.  I now feel that I need to continue writing in the PTSD journal.   A second reason for my not writing here as much, is that a very few people seem to feel that I have been less than honest concerning my disability.  While I do not feel that way, I am going to look back through some old journal entries to see exactly what I have, and have not, written about it.  I intend to devote one complete journal entry trying to explain as much as I can about my disability and the effects it has had on my life. This will come at some future time when I am feeling better.   I want to make one thing perfectly clear today: I am not leaving DS under any circumstances.  I will try to be here on a daily basis, but I will be working during that period to catch up on some things that I have neglected.   I hope that both my old and new friends will have some idea of what I am going through, as well as understand the reasons for the actions I am taking.   Quotes for Determination:   “The difference between the impossible and the possible lies in a person's determination.” Tommy Lasorda

Replies

deleted_user
deleted_user

Weeble hugs and Mojo.....
deleted_user
deleted_user

I am very sorry to hear about your increased difficulty concerning the pain in your ankles and legs. The sleep issue and the injuries are a very unfortunate complication for you.

Flashbacks..bad stuff.

You certainly do not need to me to tell you what is right for you to do. You have made some very wise decisions.

No one knows what goes on inside a person\'s mind, body or daily life experiences that qualify to be referred to as a disability. The fact that a few persons have implied or specified that you have not been honest leads me to one answer.

Screw them, Jim. Screw em.

You stated that you are going to write a journal entry explaining your disability, when you are feeling better. You will do what is best for you, of course. Still, I would like it very much if you do not waste one moment of your day, or even a small amount of energy on an explanation of your situation to these individuals.

I hope you have a decrease in pain in many areas of your life. I hope have peace, love and much less pain in your life.

Your journals are always helpful and honest.

I think you have always been very clear and very honest. Who knows what \" their \" problem is ?

Just screw em, Jim. They do not deserve a minute of you time.
deleted_user
deleted_user

Do what you must Jim as only you know your limits take care buds. Grant See you on here when you are ready.
deleted_user
deleted_user

hang in there and take good care hugs-Stephanie