I am somewhat sorry to say that I will be cutting back on the number of journal entries I have been making here.  A number of factors have contributed to this.  I have not been getting much sleep due to the fact that I am having a lot of pain in my ankles and legs from the injuries I sustained in December.  The lack of sleep makes me irritable and sometimes very grouchy.  I am also having almost daily flashbacks to the sexual abuse I received both as a child and as an adult.  I believe that I was making some progress in this when I was writing in my PTSD journal.  However, the shame and embarrassment I felt somehow led me to believe that just by my ability to talk about it openly on this site, meant that I was healed.  I suspect that in actuality, I was still in denial about a lot of things and events that occurred.  I now feel that I need to continue writing in the PTSD journal.   A second reason for my not writing here as much, is that a very few people seem to feel that I have been less than honest concerning my disability.  While I do not feel that way, I am going to look back through some old journal entries to see exactly what I have, and have not, written about it.  I intend to devote one complete journal entry trying to explain as much as I can about my disability and the effects it has had on my life. This will come at some future time when I am feeling better.   I want to make one thing perfectly clear today: I am not leaving DS under any circumstances.  I will try to be here on a daily basis, but I will be working during that period to catch up on some things that I have neglected.   I hope that both my old and new friends will have some idea of what I am going through, as well as understand the reasons for the actions I am taking.   Quotes for Determination:   “The difference between the impossible and the possible lies in a person's determination.” Tommy Lasorda