10:40 AM – M.S.T. Tomorrow afternoon I will be seeing my psychologist for the first time since I had my accident on December 16, 2007. I had contacted her a few days ago after receiving the news that my brother had been charged with DUI. I was extremely angry at that time and felt that I needed some professional help. Since then, I have been very fortunate to receive a lot of help and understanding from my friends here at DS who have helped me look at things from a different perspective. Last night I received a phone call from my niece to inform me that her husband had made it through the surgery to have his gallbladder removed yesterday, and that he will return home today. I am very concerned about the fact that my niece's husband is being laid off from work as of March 1. Although they will still have enough income to live on, it may be that they will have to move to another city. The main reason I moved to Denver in the first place was to be close to this niece. There have been various times in my life when I felt that I was "abandoned" by both my brother and my sister, and with the prospect that my niece and her family may have to move, I am already beginning to feel abandoned again. I realize that if they have to move it will be out of necessity rather than by choice, but this does not help my internal feelings. Last night I received a phone call from someone who had been in my Anxiety Group with me. At the conclusion of that class, we had made plans to try and remain in contact with one another. Unfortunately, when she called last night I was unavailable. I tried calling her back, but only got her voicemail. I left a message for her, which she returned, but I was busy once again. I do not want her to think that I am "stalking" her, but I did not want her to think that I am avoiding her either. I have already written to her one time, so if I cannot make contact by phone, I will try writing her again. Quotes of Happiness: “If I keep a green bough in my heart, the singing bird will come.” Chinese Proverb
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Ok, tell the niece Pittsburgh is kinda nice.....
And, you need a new goal, \'asking for help\'. You have done REALLY WELL THERE. You\'ve tried to do so much on your own most of your life, and now you\'re maybe accepting that didn\'t work so well for you. And there are people out there walking around who WANT to help.
As to the anxiety friend, it\'s called playing phone tag... You\'ll connect eventually.
Weeble hugs and Mojo my friend!
Thank you for all the kind remarks. In addition to being supportive, you have given me a number of things to think about, and a few decisions to make.
As for my niece, I am extremely upset at the possibility that she may have to move away from here. We are very close in a number of ways. I enjoy her company when we are together, and I feel safe and secure knowing that she is just a phone call away if I ever need help. I really want what is best for her, and her family, but at the same time, I cannot bear the thought of losing her. If she moves, I am going to need a lot of help in overcoming the loss of her.
I have so many goals already that I am not sure about adding another one. As you know, I have always tried to do everything I can by myself. There are times when I can ask for help, but I do not really like to do that.
As far as my anxiety friend, I am getting so tired of playing phone tag that I am just about ready to yank the phone connection out of the wall. After I had identified her as a friend, it was my psychologist\'s orders to contact her by phone. She thinks I should nurture this friendship. I just do not want to screw things up the process.
Thank you for the weeble hugs and Mojo.