UPDATE -- 6:45 PM   This has been a bad day.  I felt my depression starting to hit me hard yesterday but it is even worse today.   I do not feel like being alive, but I am not going to try and kill myself.  I am not yet that desperate.   Rather than stay home as I usually do, I talked myself into going out to a shopping center.  I ran into someone I had not seen in about six months, and that seemed to raise my spirits, but only shortly.   After getting home my wheelchair quit running.  Since that is my only mode of transportation, it increased my anxiety.  The joystick, which tells the chair in which direction it should go, and how fast it should go, seems to be bent and is now at an awkward angle.  I tried pushing hard on the joystick, and the chair finally started running again, but that was not a permanent fix.  It is running erratically, which is certainly not helping my mood elevate.  I cannot get anyone to work on it until next week.   I am getting aggravated with my PCP.  A couple of weeks ago she said I had plenty of food in the refrigerator.  Tonight she said there was not much left.  Where did it all go?  I have given her a few meals, but not enough to make that much of an impact.  A friend of mine came over and asked what I was going to do when my PCP left.  I asked her if she intended on quitting.  I did not receive an answer.  She was an hour late getting here, and left earlier than normal.  She did not get my mail nor did she say when she would do my laundry during the weekend.  When she first started working for me, she was excellent and made a very good impression.  Now that she has been here a few weeks, her work seems to be slacking off.   Tomorrow morning I need to make a trip across town, so I am hoping that my chair will hold together long enough to make it there and back.  This, together with all my other worries, is about to drive me crazy.