2:35 PM

My ex-cook is supposed to be here in about two hours.  I am not looking forward to that.  I have tried reaching my sister but to no avail.  I am hoping that my new cook or my CNA shows up at that time.  If worse gets to worse, I have a medic alert button which I always wear in my apartment.  I can always press it and get the police that way.  I have to think of things positively.  The worse he can do is kill me.

This morning I crossed off another of the goals my therapist made for me by going to a place known as the clubhouse.  It is apparently run by people who also go to the mental health clinic, and those who have had problems with substance abuse.  Even though I just "dropped in," I was treated very nicely and given a tour of the premises.  They play card games, work with arts and crafts, and go on tours -- none of which I want to do.  At least when I see my therapist on Monday I can honestly tell her that I visited the place.  I will probably also tell her that I do not really want to go there again.

About a month ago, my doctor ordered that I get a mattress overlay, which is supposed to be an air mattress.  I am supposed to use it to try and help prevent skin breakdowns.  My mattress was working fine until Wednesday when it suddenly stopped pumping air.  Yesterday I called the company and managed to get a replacement.  As it turned out, it did not work either.  This morning my CNAs examined it and found that it had a hole.  Now I have to go through the hassle of calling the company and trying to get them to bring out another one, or send my social worker an e-mail this weekend, explain the situation and her, and ask her to take care of it.  I think I will do the latter.  I had enough things to do this week.

I have appointments on Monday, Tuesday, and Wednesday.  It is getting so that I do not even have time to breathe.  In addition, to make things worse, the temperature is 75° today, but by tomorrow morning, it is going to drop to 35° and we are going to have a mixture of rain and snow.

Things are starting to get to me again, and I can tell that my mood is starting to drop.   I would still like to see Doug put a blue Smiley on this site.

Quotes for Action:

“If you believe you can, you probably can. If you believe you won't, you most assuredly won't. Belief is the ignition switch that gets you off the launching pad.”  Denis Waitley