I have not been feeling well lately, and have been having an increasing number of drug relapses.  The only reason I can come up with for this is the ongoing discontent with my life.  I am not happy with my life.  I would like to see it end.   Nothing in my life seems worthwhile.  I cannot even begin to see what other people find to be so wonderful about life.  For me it is nothing but one headache after another.  There is little, if any, happiness for me.  I cannot see any reason for my life to continue.   My anxiety group therapist, as well as its members, has expressed their concern to me.  They want me to try attending different meeting sites for Narcotics Anonymous and Alcoholics Anonymous.  They seem to feel that I can get help there.  I am not convinced of that, nor am I even sure that I want help.   I am supposed to continue with the anxiety group for another four weeks, after which I will be joining a Relapse Prevention group for a second time.  This seems completely useless.   My willpower to keep fighting for life is dissipating somewhat with every passing day.  Unless something drastic happens to change my feelings towards life, I do not think that I will be here much longer.   Motivating Quote:   “A leader, once convinced that a particular course of action is the right one, must....be undaunted when the going gets tough.” Ronald Reagan