Things are pretty much the same in my life today as they were yesterday -- Yucky!   I do not seem to be any happier, but I am trying to take some steps to get myself pointed in that direction.  After thinking everything over, suicide is pretty much out of the question until after the first of the year.  My sister has her birthday in October, Thanksgiving is in November, and Christmas is in December.  I believe my untimely death would cast a pall over everything, and I would not like to leave this world on that kind of note.   Although my depression weighs heavily upon my mind, I spent much of today trying to distract myself.  I have listened to music, started reading a mystery book, worked on making a change to another home health care agency, and spoken with my sister by phone.   Three CDs I had ordered a few weeks ago finally came.  I put them on the CD player and sat back intending to find relaxation with the music.  That was not the case to be.  Each of the CDs turned out to be defective.  That certainly was an unexpected bummer!   My sister called this afternoon and when I answered the phone, she immediately said I sounded depressed.  I did not deny it, but refused to tell her the exact cause.  That would only get me in deeper trouble.   I am working on making another appointment to see my psychologist within the next week or two.  If I am going to start all over again I might as well do it right away, rather than putting it off.   Motivational Quote:   “Determination is the wake-up call to the human will.” Anthony (Tony) Robbins