Noon

Yesterday I went to the baseball game with my sister.  I think we both had a good time in spite of the fact that it was hard talking to one another because both of us use hearing aids and the roar of the crowd was deafening.  We wound up shouting at one another.

As I was riding the bus, and then taking the train, to the baseball stadium I tried to figure out when I had last used that mode of transportation since I am now accustomed to using a special door-to-door service.  If my thinking is right, and that is sometimes questionable, it has been about half a year since I have used the bus and train.  What that really means is that for the most part, with the exception of going to medical appointments or to see my family, I have not left my apartment complex.  I have practically become a hermit in the true sense of the word.  That is not good.  It has made me somewhat fearful of going out on my own.

Within about 15 minutes of my getting home, my caregiver walked in the front door.  He was there to put me to bed.  I almost think he was sitting out in the parking lot waiting to see me come in.  I was furious on the inside, but tried not to show it.  Sooner or later (preferably sooner) I will find another agency and this caregiver will no longer be a bother to me.

With the exception of yesterday, I have been in a bad mood for most of the weekend.  My appetite has decreased, I have grown more irritable than usual, and all I feel like doing is sleeping.  I am going to my anxiety group this afternoon.  Maybe something good will come out of that.

A Daily Thought:

 “People are like stained-glass windows. They sparkle and shine when the sun is out, but when the darkness sets in, their true beauty is revealed only if there is a light from within.” 

Elizabeth Kubler Ross