Thursday, July 19, 2007 Evening The day did not get any worse than it was this morning.   I sat around waiting most of the day to get the promised e-mail from a former therapist.  When it did not arrive, I called her office, left a message, asked that she call me, and leave a voicemail.  That never came either.   My nurse was also due here today.  She did not arrive until late this afternoon.  I should have expected that based on my previous experiences with her.  She gave me a routine examination and everything checked out fine.    I am seeing my doctor next week, but before I do, my nurse is going to send him a note asking if he will make a referral for me to another mental health clinic.    She tried explaining (to me) that she was governed by both her home health care agency and the law to make a report about any patient who might tell her of a "plan" to kill themselves.  She said that she did not think I would go through with anything like that, so she did not feel a need to contact more people.  I still think that if she repeats something I have told her in confidentiality, that it is not right.  The only way I know of getting around that is this: if I should ever decide to kill myself, I will go ahead and do it without telling her or anyone else ahead of time.   Sometimes the complexities of life are almost too overwhelming to bear.