Wednesday, July 18, 2007 Another Problem Yesterday started out good.  I went to see an audiologist who made a few minor changes in my hearing aids.  I do not have to go back there for half a year. While I was waiting for my ride to show up, a semi truck pulled up outside into the handicapped parking zone.  The driver got out and then walked away.  The thoughtless driver made me a little angry especially since that was where I was supposed to be picked up.  My ride came and parked behind the building.  That worked out okay, but I was still a little ticked off at the non-handicapped man who parked in the restricted zone out front.  I came home and decided I needed to rest for a while.  I turned on some CDs including Peter White who is one of my favorites.  After listening to him for an hour, I felt good again. After dinner the phone rang and it turned out to be the last person in the world I thought I would ever hear from -- my former therapist.  (Note my positive thinking here.)  She said she had a referral to another therapist for me and then asked if I had paper and pen handy.  I said no and asked her to email me the information instead.  I gave her my address and she said that was okay, although she seemed a bit surprised.  What she probably did not know, and what I did not tell her, was that because of my CP I am unable to hold the phone in one hand and write with the other.  I could have told her all that, but I was too embarrassed.  When I was growing up, my parents always got on me because I was unable to do this.  They seemed to think it was just because I did not want to.  Because of that, I received a lot of emotional abuse.  Looking back on things this morning, I should probably have told the therapist about this, especially since I have not received her e-mail.  I am not sure what I am going to do.  All that seemed to stress me out.  I went into the other room intending to relax.  Before I had a chance to do that, I had a very bad panic attack.  Actually, I thought I was having a heart attack.  I waited about twenty minutes and was prepared to call 911 when the attack stopped. I am hopeful that today will go better.  A Daily Thought: “You and I possess within ourselves, at every moment, under all circumstances, the power to transform the quality of our lives.” -Wemer Erhard