Thursday, July 12, 2007 8:45 AM Just one more time -- again!   For the last two or three months I have been staying away from my brother.  Since he seemed to have decided that I stayed away from the family get-together intentionally, and that I was using drugs again, I had decided not to have any contact with him in person, either by phone or through e-mail.  I wanted to give him some space.  However, doing this did not get me the result for which I had hoped.  There has been no contact from him.  This has both upset and angered me.  I feel as though I have been tossed away like dirty laundry. When I saw my therapist yesterday, we discussed the situation.  She said that if I was waiting for him to contact me first, and he was waiting for me to contact him first, it was very unlikely that either one of us would take the first step.  I did not like that idea, but knew that she would was right.  This morning I decided to write my brother just one more time.  I know, I know, I know!  I have said this time and time again.  However, this time I mean it -- at least I think I mean it. In my e-mail, I told him about the rumors I heard he was passing about, and I said that they were all untrue.  I tried telling him that he did not have to see me every day, week, or month, but that I would at least like some kind of brotherly communication between us.  I feel like I am banging my head against a brick wall, but I am hoping it will break just a little if not entirely. A Daily Thought: “I can complain because rosebushes have thorns, or I can rejoice because thorn bushes have roses.” -Unknown