UPDATETuesday, June 19, 20076:00 PM I AM SEEING RED TONIGHT!!! Well, this day certainly has gone from bad to worse.  I had planned on starting a new medication (actually a 24-hour patch) tomorrow, but after reading a lot about it today, I have decided not to take it at all.  There are a whole bunch of things that it can do, including causing death.  In fact, if I take the medication and get a bad reaction to it, there is no antidote.  I feel that this medication is far more dangerous than what the psychiatrist had led me to believe.I am extremely angry tonight for being lied to -- whether it was intentional or unintentional -- by this particular doctor.  If I want to kill myself, that is one thing.  But for a doctor to lead me to believe that about the worst thing a medicine can do is to cause dizziness, when in fact, it can possibly kill me, I feel that it is irresponsible.  I am scheduled to see this doctor next Friday, at which time I intend to ask him straight out if he knew about all these side effects and did not tell me.  If his reply is "yes" then I intend to ask for another doctor. I will not knowingly go to a doctor who I feel is untrustworthy!During the past few months my blood pressure has been going up and down like a yo-yo.  If someone took it tonight, I am quite sure it would be very high.Now I am faced with the question of what to do about getting another antidepressant that will be safe for me to take.  Since President Bush's National Health Care Plan will not cover the medication I need, it looks as though I will be unable to use any medication for quite a while.  It is hard for me to believe that we can spend billions of dollars going overseas and killing people, but that our government looks the other way when some of us need vital assistance here at home.This is a well-censored, and brief summary, of how I feel tonight.  Believe me, not many people would like to hear me give a very explicit example of how I really feel!