Thursday, June 7, 2007 12:15 PM I saw my therapist yesterday afternoon. It was to be my next to last session with her since we are only going to meet one time in July. That was her choice -- not mine. When we got to her office, she said that my psychiatrist had told her that I was angry with her. I said that was not the truth. I told her I felt that I was entitled to have more of an explanation as to why she could no longer see me. She nodded, but no explanation was forthcoming. She told me that there were a lot of options as to what I can do from there. Then she proceeded to tell me of one -- only 1 -- that I might try. I agreed to take part in an anxiety group, which meets for 1 1/2 hours on every Monday for 12 weeks. If there is an opening, I will start on Monday, June 18. As for the problems I am having with my brother, she suggested I try setting some boundaries. I said I would not make any effort to contact him because I thought he should be the one to contact me first. Since I cannot change the way his mind works, he is going to have to accept me the way I am or not at all. That decision is entirely up to him. Before leaving her office, I had one final disagreement with my therapist. She said my depression has gotten very bad and she was concerned that I might do something to hurt myself. She asked me if I had a plan, and I told her that if I did anything, I would kill myself with sleeping pills. She was not happy with that. I said that a nurse checked me every week, so there was no need for her to worry. She then asked me if I would tell the nurse if there was something wrong. I thought about it a moment and then said no. She asked if I would call the Emergency Medical Services. I said no to that as well. I said I was not going to let them back me into a corner so that I would wind up into a hospital. She tried to convince me -- unsuccessfully -- that even if I did go to a hospital, I would not have to stay there for a long time because Medicaid would not like to spend that much money. I still refused to seek any help if needed. She said she was concerned not only for me, but that she was running the risk of losing her license if anything should happen to me. I told her I would do the best I could, and pointed out that I had never broken any promises made to her. She said that was right. My session ended like that. She was not happy with me, but that was too bad for her. A Daily Thought: “A day without laughter is a day wasted.” -Charlie Chaplin
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Wow ...Im sorry that your visit went so bad. I always am thinking of ya Jim...HOping that you will feel better mind, body and soul...
Take care my friend~