UPDATE
Wednesday, May 2, 2007
7 PM
This has been one of the worst days I've had in a long time. I was supposed to see my therapist at 3:30 this afternoon. Because I needed to go to the drugstore at the clinic, I scheduled my ride for 1:45, thinking that would give me enough time to get there by three o'clock. After the driver picked me up he went and got another person. That was when the real trouble started. He got lost and spent more than one hour driving around in circles and finally wound up less than a mile from where I lived. After that, he drove and got two additional people. While this was going on the clock was ticking in my head.
At three o'clock we were stuck in traffic about 2 miles from my home and another half hour to where I needed to go. I tried telling him that I had a medical appointment at three o'clock. He said he only had one person to drop off before taking me to my destination. We arrived at the clinic at four o'clock -- 1 hour later than I had told him I needed to be there. He clearly did not know where he was going. I tried telling him to turn left twice and he ignored what I said. Then he did it a third time, and that's when I blew up. I told him he had gone right by three places that he should've made turns, but that he ignored what I was telling him instead. He tried telling me that he never heard me. In my opinion, if that counts, that was a bunch of BS.
I went into the clinic and checked in, asking them to check with my therapist and see if she could still see me for a while. She agreed to that and I went up to her office, where she said our session would have to be short. I figured that out already.
She asked me what I would like to work on today. I said before we did anything I had two questions for her. First, I wanted to know what constituted sexual abuse. She looked like she was grasping for an answer, so I thought I'd help her out. I gave her an example of what had happened to me at the age of four or five. She said that was abuse. Second, I wanted to know whether or not she thought I was making any progress. She hedged a bit, and said I was making progress in one area and a little less in another.
Then she dropped some small bombs, which I turned into big bombs. She said we couldn't talk very much about my trauma because the insurance companies did not like to pay for that, especially since it could take a longer time to complete. Great! She also said that some of her superiors had been questioning her about my coming to the clinic for such a long period. Most people, she said, only came for about a year. I had run over a year. Well heck, what are they going to do? Tar and feather me?
We went ahead with my session and discussed a few issues. That didn't last very long since the clock was ticking and I was watching it. At 4:30 PM, I looked at her clock and said that my time was up. She asked when I wanted to see her again. I almost said never. But instead of that, I ask when she wanted to see me. She said next Wednesday.
As I was about to leave her office, she turned to me and asked if I felt like I was being forced out of the clinic. I said yes very bluntly. By then I was in no mood to be tactful.
Tonight I am really pissed off and don't feel like ever going back there again. If they didn't like me going there that long, why couldn't they have just told me that nicely? Up until today I felt that I had always been treated in a nice way. This afternoon changed all that. Tonight I feel like dirt!
Wednesday, May 2, 2007
7 PM
This has been one of the worst days I've had in a long time. I was supposed to see my therapist at 3:30 this afternoon. Because I needed to go to the drugstore at the clinic, I scheduled my ride for 1:45, thinking that would give me enough time to get there by three o'clock. After the driver picked me up he went and got another person. That was when the real trouble started. He got lost and spent more than one hour driving around in circles and finally wound up less than a mile from where I lived. After that, he drove and got two additional people. While this was going on the clock was ticking in my head.
At three o'clock we were stuck in traffic about 2 miles from my home and another half hour to where I needed to go. I tried telling him that I had a medical appointment at three o'clock. He said he only had one person to drop off before taking me to my destination. We arrived at the clinic at four o'clock -- 1 hour later than I had told him I needed to be there. He clearly did not know where he was going. I tried telling him to turn left twice and he ignored what I said. Then he did it a third time, and that's when I blew up. I told him he had gone right by three places that he should've made turns, but that he ignored what I was telling him instead. He tried telling me that he never heard me. In my opinion, if that counts, that was a bunch of BS.
I went into the clinic and checked in, asking them to check with my therapist and see if she could still see me for a while. She agreed to that and I went up to her office, where she said our session would have to be short. I figured that out already.
She asked me what I would like to work on today. I said before we did anything I had two questions for her. First, I wanted to know what constituted sexual abuse. She looked like she was grasping for an answer, so I thought I'd help her out. I gave her an example of what had happened to me at the age of four or five. She said that was abuse. Second, I wanted to know whether or not she thought I was making any progress. She hedged a bit, and said I was making progress in one area and a little less in another.
Then she dropped some small bombs, which I turned into big bombs. She said we couldn't talk very much about my trauma because the insurance companies did not like to pay for that, especially since it could take a longer time to complete. Great! She also said that some of her superiors had been questioning her about my coming to the clinic for such a long period. Most people, she said, only came for about a year. I had run over a year. Well heck, what are they going to do? Tar and feather me?
We went ahead with my session and discussed a few issues. That didn't last very long since the clock was ticking and I was watching it. At 4:30 PM, I looked at her clock and said that my time was up. She asked when I wanted to see her again. I almost said never. But instead of that, I ask when she wanted to see me. She said next Wednesday.
As I was about to leave her office, she turned to me and asked if I felt like I was being forced out of the clinic. I said yes very bluntly. By then I was in no mood to be tactful.
Tonight I am really pissed off and don't feel like ever going back there again. If they didn't like me going there that long, why couldn't they have just told me that nicely? Up until today I felt that I had always been treated in a nice way. This afternoon changed all that. Tonight I feel like dirt!
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