Thursday, April 26, 2007
9 AM
I'm not very happy today. My therapy session yesterday did not seem to go very well. We did not pick up where we left off last week, and we pretty much stayed away from the topic of my abuse. Prior to my session I had hoped that we would continue to work on the memories of the abuse I suffered in an effort to help lay them to rest once and for all. But such was not to be.
Each week, at the end of my session, I am given an assignment for the next week. Last night when I was given my assignment I had no idea what my therapist was talking about. I made sure she knew that. We went over the instructions several times, but nothing seemed to make sense. After thinking about it overnight, I am beginning to have an understanding of what she was talking about. Basically, she said that when I have trauma symptoms I am to remind myself that a setback is not a failure.
When I first started my therapy my original goals were to work on my depression, my anxiety, my drug problems, and to get help in repairing my life which I felt was a mess. I said that I just wanted to be happy. I don't feel any of that was unreasonable.
While we were talking about my goals yesterday my therapist seemed to have gotten the impression that enabling me to handle my trauma would be the same thing as making me happy. I don't know how in the world she could've thought that. Today I am having doubts as to whether or not she has any idea on what it would take for me to become happier. I know for sure that I was in a better mood before going to my session than I was when I came out of it.
I usually feel a lot better after spending even an hour with my therapist. But after my session yesterday I felt that things were starting to go downhill. It's strange how my mood can change so quickly. I am somewhat angry today and don't care if I never go back for another session. What's the use of going in for therapy for hours, after hours, after hours if the person I'm talking to cannot even understand the meaning of the word "happy"?
I have nothing planned for today with the exception of trying to make arrangements to get my computer fixed. My niece's husband will do that as soon as the right connections are made. Since he built the computer, I assume he will know how to repair it.
A Daily Thought:
Love and forgiveness are emotional twins.
-Morgan Green
9 AM
I'm not very happy today. My therapy session yesterday did not seem to go very well. We did not pick up where we left off last week, and we pretty much stayed away from the topic of my abuse. Prior to my session I had hoped that we would continue to work on the memories of the abuse I suffered in an effort to help lay them to rest once and for all. But such was not to be.
Each week, at the end of my session, I am given an assignment for the next week. Last night when I was given my assignment I had no idea what my therapist was talking about. I made sure she knew that. We went over the instructions several times, but nothing seemed to make sense. After thinking about it overnight, I am beginning to have an understanding of what she was talking about. Basically, she said that when I have trauma symptoms I am to remind myself that a setback is not a failure.
When I first started my therapy my original goals were to work on my depression, my anxiety, my drug problems, and to get help in repairing my life which I felt was a mess. I said that I just wanted to be happy. I don't feel any of that was unreasonable.
While we were talking about my goals yesterday my therapist seemed to have gotten the impression that enabling me to handle my trauma would be the same thing as making me happy. I don't know how in the world she could've thought that. Today I am having doubts as to whether or not she has any idea on what it would take for me to become happier. I know for sure that I was in a better mood before going to my session than I was when I came out of it.
I usually feel a lot better after spending even an hour with my therapist. But after my session yesterday I felt that things were starting to go downhill. It's strange how my mood can change so quickly. I am somewhat angry today and don't care if I never go back for another session. What's the use of going in for therapy for hours, after hours, after hours if the person I'm talking to cannot even understand the meaning of the word "happy"?
I have nothing planned for today with the exception of trying to make arrangements to get my computer fixed. My niece's husband will do that as soon as the right connections are made. Since he built the computer, I assume he will know how to repair it.
A Daily Thought:
Love and forgiveness are emotional twins.
-Morgan Green
Replies
Sorry that your session didnt go so well. I WISH YOU HAPPY!!!!
I have been singing the Oscar Meyer wiener song in my head all morning...that can make ya nuts too...lol
Hi again Jim,
We have to have alot of trust in our therapist in order for it to continue working It can be really hard at times
My Fater suffered from PTSD and I know from him it is a VERY specialized field that not everyone can treat in mental health
I hope the next session will be more rewarding and you can at least know the direction your therapy is headed
Jan
i hope you get your sessions worked out- it can be a difficult thing-my moods change from happy- to sad- can do that many times a day- so i understand how you feel-have a good day- yesterday is the past-tomorrow is not here- all we have is the present- so try your best to make- which can be difficult at times- the best of your day- find somethng you have not done in a while- crossword puzzles- they have them online- a favorite movie, book, music- that you like- go for it-you\'ll do a great job-hang in there- \"New Orleans jazz\"- do you like that? It sounds lively! Take care. Your frown will feel BETTER if you turn it UPSIDE down. Peanuts, popcorn, ice cold drinks....turn the speed down on your chair a little....speed racer-there\'s plenty...enjoy yours!
I know what you mean about the therapist not picking up where they left off, it sometimes seems like mine totally forgot where we left off and wants to start on something light and meaningless when I have the impression we are really going to get somewhere.