Yesterday I saw my therapist again. I came away from the session feeling a little better. She said she wanted to see me again next week because my depression seems to be worse. DUH! My panic attacks have increased during the last two weeks, and she wanted to know why. Heck, if I had all the answers, I wouldn't need her.
Tomorrow I'm seeing my doctor because of increased back pain. This is probably causing some of my depression, since I am not very optimistic about finding a solution about the pain.
I told my therapist that I was in a negative mood about almost everything. I didn't feel good about myself, or my problems, and didn't feel like going on with life. She wanted to know if I had a plan to hurt myself, and I told her I would "try" not to do anything wrong.
I used to have a small support group, which consisted mostly of members of my family. But that seems to have fallen apart. I felt that they were drifting away from me.
Tomorrow I'm seeing my doctor because of increased back pain. This is probably causing some of my depression, since I am not very optimistic about finding a solution about the pain.
I told my therapist that I was in a negative mood about almost everything. I didn't feel good about myself, or my problems, and didn't feel like going on with life. She wanted to know if I had a plan to hurt myself, and I told her I would "try" not to do anything wrong.
I used to have a small support group, which consisted mostly of members of my family. But that seems to have fallen apart. I felt that they were drifting away from me.
Replies
Good morning,
DOes it help that your therapist wants to see you again next week? It scares me that you would even entertain the thought of hurting yourself. Please don\'t! I\'m sorry, my friend, that you are having a rough time.I will certainly pray for you! (it\'s ok to pray for yourself too:)
Why did the support group that you had fall apart, perhaps reinstate that under a different purpose...An activity ,lunch/dinner, movie? Just getting out makes me happy!
I thought I was going to rip someones head off yesterday, went to the store and just wandered around and after smiling at people I felt better. Im a weirdo...I like to smile as often as possible to the people that won\'t smile back!! (those people use to be me)
Bear in mind I never use too! I was one of those that was so angry with my lot in life that the idea of taking one minute of my time to smile or say hi to some idiot was completely made no sense to me. My husband is very kind, and polite and he does it ALL the time. I started doing it and it gave me a big boost. Now that I am an active Christian, it comes easy and the rewards to my own mental health are great!
Please take care Jim!
Your friend,
Mary
In a way, it does help that my therapist wants to see me next week. It tells me that she recognizes the problems I\'m facing. As for hurting myself, that\'s a little harder. When my mother was dying in 1994, I tried killing myself. A friend came over and stopped me. Now, I\'ve been so depressed since last July that I often have thoughts of killing myself. My therapist knows about it, and asks me about the thoughts every time I see her. I often feel as though I\'m walking a tightrope between life and death. Part of me wants to live, and part of me wants to die. It\'s almost a daily struggle.
In a way, it does help that my therapist wants to see me next week. It tells me that she recognizes the problems I\'m facing. As for hurting myself, that\'s a little harder. When my mother was dying in 1994, I tried killing myself. A friend came over and stopped me. Now, I\'ve been so depressed since last July that I often have thoughts of killing myself. My therapist knows about it, and asks me about the thoughts every time I see her. I often feel as though I\'m walking a tightrope between life and death. Part of me wants to live, and part of me wants to die. It\'s almost a daily struggle.