Everyone's advice is so welcome!!! bijou, you are awesome!! I will fight!! I have to admit that I am terrified that I have to be so close to him next week. The hearing is on the 10th of March. I am supposed to get my stuff from the house on the 8th. I follow no specific religion but am a believer. I do say my prayers and try to turn my fears over to Him. I do feel guilty about doing this because I worry that I am truly worthy. I know that this is conditioning from my soon to be ex. I am gaing strenght everyday even though I still have my bad days and my terrifying days. paranoia sux.....sometimes I feel like it is eating me alive. I am soo scared. I am terrified. But I am strong...am I strong enough? Only time and God will tell. I am trying to stay positive. I will try to sign on as much as I can the 6th thru the 16th of March. Pls keep me in your prayers as yall will always remain in mine. Thanks for the hugs!! I actually feel them!! For the first time in a long time, hugs feel comforting. Take care of yourselves, believe in yourselves and I will be back soon. A different person, a different identity. Me.