God, help me. I am grieving so much. I hurt. Mu estranged husband won't let me be. He calls my cell leaves messages that make me think something is wrong and him knowing me as well as he does, I call him back to check to make sure everything is fine. The conversation is stiltled but we aren't arguing. Then around 5 am he decides to start texting me. I have just started a new job, on top of loosing my "son", I am wearing myself out physically. The job is demanding, long hours on my feet running back and forth, panic anxiety, depression, pstd kicking in so badly, outflow of heart down to below 30%, pls tell me there is a tomorrow. there is a reason...great friend in need, he is dealing with soemone addicted to pills, the stress of everything is killing me. Dr told me this morning HOSPITAL. I talked her out of it but under certain conditons. CUT OUT STRESS....divorce next 2 weeks, if not fought by him.....the trip back to the "home" I was thrown out of........and the guilt I feel over OH WOE IS ME. I can actually feel my heart being squeezed. The stress is killing me. The "gunshot" noise is killing me.  Sorry...just a bad day.....there is always tomorrow right?