God, help me. I am grieving so much. I hurt. Mu estranged husband won't let me be. He calls my cell leaves messages that make me think something is wrong and him knowing me as well as he does, I call him back to check to make sure everything is fine. The conversation is stiltled but we aren't arguing. Then around 5 am he decides to start texting me. I have just started a new job, on top of loosing my "son", I am wearing myself out physically. The job is demanding, long hours on my feet running back and forth, panic anxiety, depression, pstd kicking in so badly, outflow of heart down to below 30%, pls tell me there is a tomorrow. there is a reason...great friend in need, he is dealing with soemone addicted to pills, the stress of everything is killing me. Dr told me this morning HOSPITAL. I talked her out of it but under certain conditons. CUT OUT STRESS....divorce next 2 weeks, if not fought by him.....the trip back to the "home" I was thrown out of........and the guilt I feel over OH WOE IS ME. I can actually feel my heart being squeezed. The stress is killing me. The "gunshot" noise is killing me. Sorry...just a bad day.....there is always tomorrow right?
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Found out today he is fighting some of the things I am asking for. The insurance he knows I need. I should have asked for half of everything...not too late to do that. He wants a fight, then BY GOD, lets give him one. I went to work before being released to do so to keep him from having to pay \"back temporary maintainence\". I am so tired of trying to be nice and even more tired of trying to be MORE than fair. After all he has put me thru in the last 17 yrs. All I have lost. He wants a fight?? LETS GO.
Sorry I haven\'t written. My computer never does well with this site and the server looses it a lot. I tried yesterday and it kept loosing it and I finally gave up!. Okay your ex is an A@*hole! He has it coming! He is sooooo manipulative and tries to keep a hold on you. I don\'t know what your beliefs are as far as God (I wouldn\'t say mine is the strongest) but when I was going through my worst times I prayed for God to give me relief. To lift the stress/pressure even if it was just for a day or to so I could get some breathing room. I felt like I was at the breaking point. I will pray for you. Giving up the stress is the hardest thing to do cause no one ever teaches us how! You ex husband sounds toxic for sure! He needs to find his own help and it can\'t be you. You are not responsible for him. Sorry to be so full of advice, but that is the way I am. You can tell me to shut up at any time and I won\'t take offense! Keep me posted and let me know how things progress. Stay strong and fight that guy!