Wow...made it thru another day!! An accomplishment!! One step...one day at a time!! Less than a month to go before I have to face him in court. REALITY lets me know he will fight me in court but HOPE makes me believe THIS will be the LAST time I will ever have to lay eyes on him, much less him be in MY presence. It is MY turn to live. It is MY turn PERIOD. it has always been about HIM. ALWAYS. Now there is no him...there is ME and I am worth it. Anyone out there who is in or has been in an abusive relationship of any kind, I will tell you, there IS a tomorrow. Yes, it is hard. I lay in bed sometimes at night and turn over and reach for someone. But he is no longer the someone I reach for. He has no face right now but that is okay because in the end, I still have ME. I will still have my ups and downs, my hopes, fears and dreams, my insecurities but I will have my LIFE. No more control. No more name calling. No more put downs. No more feelings of uselessness, worthlessness, nothingness. They say you deserve what you get. Not true. NOONE deserves to be treated less than human. NOONE. Male, female, black, white, red, purple, polkadotted, it matters not. We are all human. We all have choices and because we are adults, raised either by parents or parental figures or for some people, they have had to learn on their own, we have choices. They do not deserve to be taken from us in anyway shape or form. We are allowed to make mistakes. We are allowed to learn from them. We are allowed to live and beathe and not be in trouble for it. We deserve, if it is our choice to do so, be faithful to one another. To be honest without fear of being in trouble. We desrve these things and more. I will settle for no less anymore. I will give 111000000% but I want the same in return. A relationship is NOT 50/50. It is 100/100. On occassion, one may have to pull a little more than the other but it goes both ways. Settle for no less. I won't anymore. No more abuse OF ANY KIND. Compassion, passion, love, understanding. I want no less. I will have no less. I am worth it. (Now, if only I could be as strong as my words!! LMAO!!!)!!