Well, today was a 9 niravam day. Got a letter from my lawyer. It contained a check from my soon to be ex, Homer is his name. I don't know why it affected me becuase I fell nothing but pity and sorrow for him. What a sad person he is and will continue to be unless he can realize he needs help and gets it. I don't know why this made me feel guilty and sad. It makes o sense. Also,on a personal note, and usually something I keep to my self, I need help. I need to know if others feel this way. I have needs like any human being has. I don't sleep around at all. Haven't been with anyone in months. But I still have urges. So I invested in a toy for help. No laughing pls. This is serious...honest. Anyway, I am numb. Outside and inside. Is this normal or is something wrong with me. Counselors that haven't been in this situation can't answer the question and the NP and doctors I see say there aren't enough studies to know if this is normal. Does anyone feel the numbness? Will it go away? Is it me? Again, I knw this is extremely personal of me to not only note on here but to ask. But I need answers. HELP! And pls forgive my frankness.
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I think your feelings are normal. I felt numb during the worst parts of my depression and anxiety. I felt kind of dead. I think when a lot stuff happens all at once, we shut down as part of a defense or survival mechanism. Do you think that is what is happening to you? Is that making sense. You will feel more emotionally and physically when you start to pull out of this and those dark clouds lift. Take care and feel better my friend. I will pray for you.
Remember that the controller wants to make you doubt normallacy and substitute his illusions for reallity.