Well, today was a 9 niravam day. Got a letter from my lawyer. It contained a check from my soon to be ex, Homer is his name. I don't know why it affected me becuase I fell nothing but pity and sorrow for him. What a sad person he is and will continue to be unless he can realize he needs help and gets it. I don't know why this made me feel guilty and sad. It makes o sense. Also,on a personal note, and usually something I keep to my self, I need help. I need to know if others feel this way. I have needs like any human being has. I don't sleep around at all. Haven't been with anyone in months. But I still have urges. So I invested in a toy for help. No laughing pls. This is serious...honest. Anyway, I am numb. Outside and inside. Is this normal or is something wrong with me. Counselors that haven't been in this situation can't answer the question and the NP and doctors I see say there aren't enough studies to know if this is normal. Does anyone feel the numbness? Will it go away? Is it me? Again, I knw this is extremely personal of me to not only note on here but to ask. But I need answers. HELP! And pls forgive my frankness.