Wow!! What a difference a day makes!! I have had one of the best days in awhile!! I had a friend of mine join. He suffers from panic anxiety. He is also one of my greatest supporters, taking my calls at all hours of the am. He is so very patient. One of the best things about him is that he gives so much and expects nothing in return. Not many people out there like that anymore. Hayley, communicate with him. I can only tell you my experiences with the victims point of view. He can help you from the abusers side of it. Maybe you will understand better that it is not you. It is him. You cannot change him, love him enough, do enough, agree or disagree enough. You are you. AN INDIVIDUAL. And you deserve loads better. Your heart may seem to be involved but you need to step back and ask yourself, IS THIS CONDITIONING FROM HIM? Contact epicpirate. He is a lovely person. (Not matchmaking here!!!) And the costume he is wearing is a spoof of Jack Swallows from Pirates of the Carribean!! He isn't gay!! I just tease him as such!!! And I do have gay friends!!! WorkingThru, I was glad to hear that your employer is treating you better. She needs to realize that not only are you an asset to her, the company but also to yourself. Anyone needing a friend, feel free to go to y pics and click on epicpirate's pic. Need a laugh? He will have one at the ready!! He does have his bad days and could use support also but is willing to help others regardless. He has seen me at my worse. He is also seeing the progress I am making even when I can't see it myself. I am waiting on pictures from my other friend that is also a great supporter. She is going thru similar traumas with her soon to be ex only in different ways. Thank all of you for the wonderful hugs and encouragements. DS has trulu been a Godsend as have all of you...Lots o hugs, prayers, thoughts and love to ya!!!