Well, I started my other entry today with "Good Morning" and now I will say "Good Afternoon" and in that short period of time it has all changed again concerning my husband and his job and what he'd like to do with our finances--Business has slowed up so much at his office and things really aren't looking good for this month. He just cannot deal with the ups and downs anymore I think. I thought when we got both the girls through college there would be a real feeling of release. It never came. He says he thinks his income will drop as much as we were paying for college. (He does over-dramatize at times)He came home early, I was not feeling well and I just spoke openly about his attitudes, his attitude on life and money,etc. Anyway, we said some things that shouldn't have been said. I just ended up leaving and taking 2 klonopin and taking a nap. He really isn't that open to what I was saying anyway.He wants to sell our home, live in an apartment for a year, see how little we can live on and see then if he has to stay at his job or possibly find something else that he might like more if it paid enough (I'm not sure I believe he would leave this income here) Anyway, then try to buy a very small place and be debt-free. He says freedom would be debt-free. I love and respect my husband. But I'm really afraid because he's always taking leadership and right now he just wants to stay stuck and complain about his job, etc. And he is so wishy-washy and really I ride a roller-coaster with my periods and I just feel he is wrong to change his mind like the wind.......so things aren't good here and I'm ashamed because we have so much to be thankful for. It's just very sad if we let it affect our relationship. Love you all, thanks for listening.Cindy
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Sounds like he really is unsettled just now... And that is making you feel insecure not just because of the changes he wants to make, but because he is changing... Anyway, its good for you both to be honest, even if it is hard and painful and makes you angry and reactionary... Is he struggling with the responsibility of your finances? Is he suffering with depression? Or is it a mid-life thing, fed up with the rat race (do you say that in the states?)? Perhaps you could ask him to hold fire for 6 months and see how things go, then if no better make plans to change things... Then if it is just a \"phase\" it may well pass, if not then at least you will have had 6 months to decide about it all... Just an idea... Hx
I would feel really scared myself if I were you..I can\'t stand any type of \"instability\" so I can totally relate and understand. I just wish I could give you some sound advice and tell you everything will be o.k, but you know HeleneDM\" above suggested something good that you should both agree to wait 6 months and then see how you both feel. That\'s good advice. Until then, I hope you have peace within. I\'m thinking of you, Love Jenn
I agree with Helen because he sounds like he is suffering from a depression, I would know because I have suffered from them in the past. Depression makes you worry, and feel worthless, and have a bad perspective on life and your future. It is like living under a cloud. Selling your home to buy a multifamily might be an optionm, where somebody can pay for part of your mortgage, and you have less of a mortgage to pay. Then when the mortgage is paid off, you will still have income from the apartment being rented. It is not easy, I can tell you that, but it is definitely worth it. You will still own a home, and also you will be creating income from it. It can be a good option. Good luck, give him space if he needs it, he sounds like he is not feeling very good mentally right now. You should try to suggest he sees your family physician if he is open to that. Even for a check up of his thyroid, that can cause depression too. He should have bloodwork done.
wow sweetie your going through a lot right now and so many unsure things going on in your life that you have a right to be concerned..and don\'t worry about the things you said to each other love forgives smile..i\'m with the others on here i feel like maybe he is depressed and not thinking clearly...i hope the best for you two sweetie and i\'m always right here if you need to talk ..love you sweetie terri
Your husband sounds very challenged by financial insecurity (which is, in turn, challenging you!). We were very fortunate to be in a position to pay off our house a number of years ago when there were threats of lay offs at my husband\'s work. It made all the difference for him knowing we had a roof over our head, no matter what. Of course we still have one at home -- I have no idea what it will be like for him when he\'s no longer working to put the kid through college, etc. Someone identified that \"change\" was happening and that\'s what sounds so threatening to me. I love my husband, but I get a tight knot in my gut when he seems to be moving from general complaining about work (which, let\'s face it, everyone including mothers does) to actually wanting to stop working or change careers. I know you both said some things that probably still hurt, but try to let them go and listen to each other -- it\'s really hard to do in a situation like this, but you might hear what the \"real\" issue is and it may be something very different from simple fear of economic failure or boredom with his work. In your shoes, I know I would be saying, because I have, that I don\'t have time for this, but it makes sense to make time for it and see what comes of it. Oh hang in there -- my heart is with you both and you are both in my prayers.
Well, first and foremost, He is the leader of your household. God being the head of him. So, the solution when you can\'t figure out what else to do is, PRAY! Pray together! Talk about this when you are both calm. Remember not to focus on blame, just the solution. My prayers are with you.
dear friend...it is a scarey feeling not to have security or structure in one\'s life...he sounds as if he is floating from one thought or idea to the next and not standing on firm/logical ground...i will keep you in my prayers and ask God to give you both wisdom (though you have a level head on your shoulders)...i pray that God will ease your worries somehow...you are in my heart, dear friend...love ya!
I know the feelings your hubby is going thru but he seems to be putting the cart before the horse.
From what I see, the first thing he could start doing is to look for another job. It might help him feel as if he\'s moving forward instead of adding more burdens to his mind. When I get over burdened, I can no longer see ANY possibilities: tunnel vision.
Keep us posted.