Today was not a good day. It was weigh in day at Weight Watchers and of course I gained 2.5 lbs. back. Well, back to losing 0 lbs. I want to cut so bad and I haven't felt the urge this strong for a long time. I don't want to mess it up. I have worked so hard to be where I'm at right now, as far as the cutting goes. I just made it four months without cutting on June 6, 2008. I just have so much stuff I'm trying to work on all at one time and it's tearing me up inside. On the outside, I seem fine, but inside I'm falling apart. So many things are going on with me and no one even knows. Each time I have to mask my feelings, it gets easier to cover up, even with my counselor. She is the one person I should be honest and open with, but I'm not. It's just one more person to disappoint. I feel so sad all the time and I just don't want to be around anyone. I'd rather be by myself. Sometimes I wish I didn't have friends, so I wouldn't be such a disappointment, so I wouldn't be such a depressing person to be around. Who wants to be arounds someone like that. It just brings others down and I don't want to do that. I'm moving in less than a month a little over a month and I haven't even started packing. I hate moving, I have moved three times in the last three years. It really stresses me out. I don't know, I'm just tired of being "here." Everything has just gotten to be too much for me and too fast. I tear my heart open, I sew myself shutMy weakness is that I care too muchAnd my scars remind me that the pain is realI tear my heart open just to feel I tried to help you onceAgainst my own adviceI saw you going downBut you never realizedThat you're drowning in the waterSo I offered you my handCompassion's in my natureTonight is our last stand I tear my heart open, I sew myself shutMy weakness is that I care too muchAnd our scars remind us that the past is realI tear my heart open just to feel
Replies
Hi. I am worried about you.
Don\'t hurt your self. PLease!!
Everyone has times when they feel they are dragging others down. That\'s OK. Feel bad then get up and do something positive for you. go for a walk or do something you know will be good for you or relaxing. Even if you don\'t feel like doing it. Invest in your mental healthy and do it anyway.
Depression is so hard to get over when ou sit and feel depressed. I am sending you some happy huggy vibes to help you.
You don\'t need me to tell you that a counsellor cannot help you if you do not tell them the truth. They will not be disappointed in truth. They are there to help.Not judge.
I am not judgeing you - I am hearing myself on MY worst days, and I fel for you.
HUGS
If you were just as depressed as you were then, and were in a room with three other depressed people, even more depressed than you, you\'d lift them up eventually. I\'d hang out with you. Doesn\'t matter to me if you gained 2.6 pounds or 20.6 pounds. Now then as for your health, it matters. My Rx? Walk 30 minutes a day. NEVER FAIL TO DO SO. You\'ve got to get military about it. If there isn\'t a screaming sergeant in your mind screaming at you for not yet walking today then it\'s not what I\'m talking about. Not to lose weight, but to be healthy. To feel better upstairs is the key to all things below.