sad

I keep thinking of the poem about Casey at the Bat, "for there is no joy in Mudville, the mighty Casey has struck out". That is how I feel. Gary has been dead about 50 days. The sadness is so immense. Most days are alright. I work, I take care of my Mom and the house. But Sundays are awful. I try to fill them. Church, family, house stuff. My family tries to make it less awful but I spend most of Sunday crying. I tried to go to a grief support group today but almost made myself sick worrying about it. I am so blessed to have had such a wonderful husband. It hurts so much to know that he is gone and that I cannot jug him anymore.