update

well it's been quite a while seince i've updated my journal, i'm half way through my mental health course, and it's getting so hard and trying to keep on top of all the homewrok is making me stressed but nothing i can't handle. i just got engaged!!!!!! how exciting. so now i get to start planning my wedding. although i feel a little bit angry becoz my friend got engaged like 3 weeks after i did, now i've been with my fiance for 18 months, so it's obvious that we didn't wanna wait too long to get engaged because we r crazy in live, but my friend has been with her fiance for nearly 5 years and never even spoke about getting married until i mentioned that i was. and now she is going to plan her big extravagant wedding while i have to wait while i save up the money. now i'm not jealous coz she's got more money than i do, because i don't care about how much it costs, i just want to marry my man. she, on the other hand is already competing with the whole world, saying things like "my ring is the best, there is no other ring that is better" and i know that she is going to do the same with her wedding, and whatever i do with mine, she will look down on and say 'hmmph well i'm having this because it's better'. ugggh i didn't realise i had such a problem with it until i started writing. also she thinks automatically that she's mmy bridesmaid, and my fiance can't stand her, also i don't wanna be in her wedding because i can't stand her fiance, but the problem is, we've been best friends for 7 years or so, so if i say that she's not in my wedding then i will lose a friend. what do i do?????