so it's 2 a.m. and i have to work tomorrow, once again i can't sleep, once again i think of all the things worrying me, and i'm wondering.... why. why do i feel like i'm just the shaddow of me,  i don't feel like i'm Rachael, like yeah Rachael is funny cute bla bla bla, but i don't feel like her, i feel like i'm just well yeah her shaddow. i don't want to feel like this anymore, i wanna feel like i'm me again, when someone compiments me i want to feel like they r saying it to me and feel it instead of just feeling like they r saying it to her, the girl i see in the mirror everytime i look in it. i'm so tired of being awake, i know i'll be fine at work, it's the only place nothing else matters, there, it's all about teeth. haha, i just wish they hadn't cut my hours back because i was feeling normal,  not completely but u know when i'm there i feel like i'm important, because the work i do is needed and i know that if i don't show up they can't work without me, and when i get home i'm so exhausted that sleeping isn't an issue, but with so much spare time now all i can do is sleep during the day coz i'm so bored and i can't afford to do anything if i wanted to, and then at night i'm stuck on my own just thinking. oh god i feel like i'm just being a sook, but it's my journal so i'm allowed to. haha. well now i don't know what to do, i'm not even tired i'm wide awake. i'm bored out of my brain, i laid in bed for about an hour just tossing and turning but not a single moment of rest.