GOSH!

Brandy flew out Sunday night. but before we took her to the airport, we tried to show her Pearl Harbor and the sunken ship but we missed the last tour ferri by a few mins. we hung out for a bit then went to a Thai restaraunt of Matthew's and I favorite. it was soooo goood! she liked it too! lol i was so sad to see her go... miss you already, girl! you were so FUN to hang out with!  wednesday night i dropped Matthew off to the airport so he can fly out to Texas to visit an old friend of his that is on leave. they haven't seen each other in about 4 years. hrs leading up to me dropping him off was a bad day.... he was in pain, and i was stuck at the VA tryin to get a prescription renewed which i thought would only take an hr. but ended up being there all morning. so he was pissed about it and then on the way home we got pulled over and he got a speeding ticket. i knew i should have been driving, but he gets so stubborn. then when he got home he recieved a letter from unemployment that his last claim got denied. he was so pissed off and stressed out, i had to put up with his yelling (venting) and had to plug my ears so i didn't get a migraine. funny thing is, the night beofore, he told me that i really need to see a psych for anger issues and i need to be put on meds for it to calm me down. but he should look in the mirror... lol yes i have a temper... and i tend to talk loud or yell when i'm mad, but i ususally have a damn good reason for it. where Matthew has mood swings out of nowhere and gets snappy out of the blue sky. anyways.... he already sees a psych and is on meds, but he thinks I NEED to do the same so that we are even. i told him that we need to go to a relationship counselor MORE THAN ANYTHING. so i called my pain psychologist and told him to refer us to one.  also told Matthew to do some heavy thinking while he is away. i love him and want things to work, he said the same. but i don't know how long i can hold on if communicating to him is made so HARD bcuz he repeats everything i say back to me (like i did it). so it's like talking to a wall (or a mirror). also told him about his immature behavior (like turning lights off on me, purposely leaving the door open while AC is running, etc) and how disrespectful he can be when he is in a bad mood. so i told him if he can't FIX that, to stay in Texas. so we'll see how this goes.i mean, i know he served 2 combat tours and that's SUPPOSED to make a man out of you... but he doesn't see any of his behavior as being immature and then points back at me.  the house has been very quiet since Brandy is gone and now Matthew gone. mom goes to her docs every day, and Sonnie is at work, and so it's just me and the cats. lol. Matthew plans to be back on Wednesday i think, but he may extend. i missed him as soon as i got back from the airport. did i mention that i had to buy a new cell phone? the last one got sunk out in the deep blue yonder when Brandy and i went kayaking. i wasn't expecting the gusts of wind to pick up to that magnitude. it fipped us over a few times. i have bruises all over me from that! lol. but we had a blast LOL. Brandy is a world of fun! this new phone will get a bright orange floating thing i'll tie to it, and the next time i go kayaking, i'll even tie the darn thing to the kayak! that way it's attached!! i had to rest up after all that... it really took a toll on me. anyways.... my bro is still going on and on about his new religious epiphany and lectures mom every freakin night. i'm so sick of it up to my freakin eye balls! and now he wants to start his OWN BIBLE studies AT OUR HOUSE with people from his church!!! i told mom and him NO! i can't handle crowds of people!! they can come over ONCE and that's it! no more! sheesh.... what's wrong with him? i think he has lost his freakin mind, maybe he's gone off the deep end. i'm so sick of the lecturing like he KNOWS everything! but he doesn't! my relationship w/ God is between me and God, Sonnie has no right to butt in! or tell us what he THINKS we should do!  anyways... let's just hope that this week stays quiet. i don't need anymore problems. thanks, yall for reading my long long entry (as usual) .... i keep tryin to shorten it, but there's much on my mind that happened. thanks again for being there... God be with you all! xoxox