I feel like I'm being shredded from the inside out...my heart is so broken. Matthew just yelled at me non stop some of the most horrible accusations. He went as far to say that I conveniently control my symptoms and flare them at the right moments just to piss him off! ...control my symptoms???? If I only could, that would be a dream come true, I told him. God, I wish I could, I said. I would be on top of the world right now!! He said I shit on him...how?? It sounds like it's because I disagree with him. But who agrees with everything with anyone??Am I not allowed to disagree about some things and still love???What happened here?? What happened to the man that loved me and was so sweet to me??? Tell me this is a nightmare..please...just tell me I will wake up from all this. It really hurts...I feel like i'm bleeding from the inside out. I never loved anyone so much...I never opened up to anyone the way I did with him. Was I wrong????He sounds like he just lost his mind...or am I just stupid for ever trusting him or beleiving that he was ever supportive?? I can't stop crying...I feel like my insides are dying...feels like my guts have been fed through a meat grinder! What do I do??? How do I get myself back together? Somebody please wake me....the pain is much more than any physical pain I've ever had. I just want it to stop....please....
Replies
Hey I understand that pain - it\'s worse than anything physical but for one thing IT WILL PASS. Hang on in there time really does heal. Can you get away from him for a while? Do some things that you love to do with friends. try not to stress as this will make your Fibro much much worse.
Good luck
Hang in there......I dont know what to say to ease your pain....I hope things calm down soon. You dont need the stress. Try and breathe some all right. HUGS!!!
God, I am so sorry. Having had my heart broken more than once in life, all I can say is that I do not regret loving someone, and neither should you. Loving someone means that you are a giving and open-hearted person, something we need more of in this world. Unfortunately it does leave you vulnerable to those who are coarser and less sensitive, and they hurt you. I am sure now that you should not see Matthew anymore, there is no cause for him to yell at you and make the ugly accusations. I think people do that when they don\'t know how to deal with something themselves, so they project blame onto the other person. Which is terribly unfair. This may not help any, but at least know that it is not your fault and that you do not deserve to be treated so badly. And extract youself from this relationship ASAP.
I think you shouldn\'t take it to heart. People say things they don\'t mean out of frustration, and if he\'s been supportive until now, then I don\'t think he meant it. Didn\'t you say he\'s having problems at work with his supervisors and balancing school? I know it doesn\'t excuse his behavior but I speak from experience when I say that when guys get stressed out they very often take it out on the people they love the most. I have found that if I confront the real issue head-on that he will open up, ex:\"you control your symptoms, blah, blah\" \"Matthew you know I wouldn\'t do that and I love you. Is there something else that\'s bothering you? Are you stressed out about work/school/etc\" Relationships have ups and downs, it\'s all in how you handle things. Good luck!