I feel like I'm being shredded from the inside out...my heart is so broken. Matthew just yelled at me non stop some of the most horrible accusations. He went as far to say that I conveniently control my symptoms and flare them at the right moments just to piss him off! ...control my symptoms???? If I only could, that would be a dream come true, I told him. God, I wish I could, I said. I would be on top of the world right now!! He said I shit on him...how?? It sounds like it's because I disagree with him. But who agrees with everything with anyone??Am I not allowed to disagree about some things and still love???What happened here?? What happened to the man that loved me and was so sweet to me??? Tell me this is a nightmare..please...just tell me I will wake up from all this. It really hurts...I feel like i'm bleeding from the inside out. I never loved anyone so much...I never opened up to anyone the way I did with him. Was I wrong????He sounds like he just lost his mind...or am I just stupid for ever trusting him or beleiving that he was ever supportive?? I can't stop crying...I feel like my insides are dying...feels like my guts have been fed through a meat grinder! What do I do??? How do I get myself back together? Somebody please wake me....the pain is much more than any physical pain I've ever had. I just want it to stop....please....