7-17-15=
Well, today is my friend's birthday...while we were having her party, we had a surprise fire drill. Turned out to be an accident........
I decided to change color on my journal so I could look at something different.
Yesterday, I had 2 friends come visit me. One of them I met in the psych hospital 3 years ago, the other is a pastor friend of both myself and my parents. When I get my own computer, it'll be easier to keep in touch with them. They both stayed an hour each. It was nice to have company.
I've decided that I've restricted my food and water intake enough for now--at least during meal times. I just need a little more exercise put in, weight should start coming off again, 'cuz like I said before, I don't want to be a stick thin pencil figure. I figure that's too extreme and unlikely given that I have liver problems and rapid weight-loss is a big no-no. That can damage my liver even more, no thanks. I already have to take a special laxative daily for the rest of my life as it is. This laxative prevents me from developing encephalitis in my brain which leads to massive confusion and possible death. It's also for constipation, but it tastes so bad that I would never consider taking more than prescribed, esp. since I have to get it from the med techs here. When I lived at home, I would self-administer my own meds, I accidentally ODed on my Lithium one time, that landed me in the ER. I wasn't aware that I had taken an extra dose, that I had already taken it. In the ER, my blood level was 3, the highest recommended level was 1.2!
That being said, I'm still not getting 2nds with my meals like staff is used to me doing. On another psych med, I was always hungry, but with Abilify, it's less so. Plus I'm afraid of gaining weight. With the 12 pounds I've lost, I started out at 201, so I have a long way to go before I hit a weight that I want. But I'm going to try and wait til next week's dr. appt. to find out what he thinks would be a safe weight for me. I'm thinking somewhere between the mid 140s-150's, that may be all I can do. With not eating 2nds, I get hungry before the next meal, so I'll have a snack, but I'm considering ditching the snacks and finding something with less calories.
I used to have DID, multiple personality disorder, but except for the ED voice, I haven't really had to deal with any of those other voices since I got out of the psych hospital 3 years ago. Though w/ being Schizoaffective, that has its own voices to deal with. But I've gotten used to that, it doesn't really scare me as much as it used to. I still see things that aren't there, but I do a double-take and realize that there's nothing there that I "thought" I saw.
A little worried about my mom. She doesn't really know how to handle my dad's TBI (brain injury) that he got about 1.5 years ago, she has an eating disorder too-BED. She's afraid she won't be able to stop gaining weight, that she'll wind up back on oxygen again. She's been known to say she'd rather die than to get fat again. She's on psych meds too, mostly for anxiety and depression.
QUESTION TO FRIENDS=does anyone know of a brain injury support group on DS for children of TBI? I know there is one for spouses, but I didn't find one for other family members. Mom and I could both use one. Dad is about to drive us crazy. We are still having to constantly re-teach him stuff that we've taught him the day before. He doesn't really get on the computer anymore, so he said there's about 7,000 emails in his inbox. I'll probably have to get his password and scan the emails for him, since he's not able to. I'm one of the Administrators for the family computer at parent's house., so Mom and Dad don't mind. Also help parents organize paper piles, but since I no longer live with them, my mom's paper pile is about waist high.
I'm getting tired. I had to take a muscle relaxer this morning because my back was hurting so bad. It still hurts a lot! I think I'm finally done rambling for the day.
Well, today is my friend's birthday...while we were having her party, we had a surprise fire drill. Turned out to be an accident........
I decided to change color on my journal so I could look at something different.
Yesterday, I had 2 friends come visit me. One of them I met in the psych hospital 3 years ago, the other is a pastor friend of both myself and my parents. When I get my own computer, it'll be easier to keep in touch with them. They both stayed an hour each. It was nice to have company.
I've decided that I've restricted my food and water intake enough for now--at least during meal times. I just need a little more exercise put in, weight should start coming off again, 'cuz like I said before, I don't want to be a stick thin pencil figure. I figure that's too extreme and unlikely given that I have liver problems and rapid weight-loss is a big no-no. That can damage my liver even more, no thanks. I already have to take a special laxative daily for the rest of my life as it is. This laxative prevents me from developing encephalitis in my brain which leads to massive confusion and possible death. It's also for constipation, but it tastes so bad that I would never consider taking more than prescribed, esp. since I have to get it from the med techs here. When I lived at home, I would self-administer my own meds, I accidentally ODed on my Lithium one time, that landed me in the ER. I wasn't aware that I had taken an extra dose, that I had already taken it. In the ER, my blood level was 3, the highest recommended level was 1.2!
That being said, I'm still not getting 2nds with my meals like staff is used to me doing. On another psych med, I was always hungry, but with Abilify, it's less so. Plus I'm afraid of gaining weight. With the 12 pounds I've lost, I started out at 201, so I have a long way to go before I hit a weight that I want. But I'm going to try and wait til next week's dr. appt. to find out what he thinks would be a safe weight for me. I'm thinking somewhere between the mid 140s-150's, that may be all I can do. With not eating 2nds, I get hungry before the next meal, so I'll have a snack, but I'm considering ditching the snacks and finding something with less calories.
I used to have DID, multiple personality disorder, but except for the ED voice, I haven't really had to deal with any of those other voices since I got out of the psych hospital 3 years ago. Though w/ being Schizoaffective, that has its own voices to deal with. But I've gotten used to that, it doesn't really scare me as much as it used to. I still see things that aren't there, but I do a double-take and realize that there's nothing there that I "thought" I saw.
A little worried about my mom. She doesn't really know how to handle my dad's TBI (brain injury) that he got about 1.5 years ago, she has an eating disorder too-BED. She's afraid she won't be able to stop gaining weight, that she'll wind up back on oxygen again. She's been known to say she'd rather die than to get fat again. She's on psych meds too, mostly for anxiety and depression.
QUESTION TO FRIENDS=does anyone know of a brain injury support group on DS for children of TBI? I know there is one for spouses, but I didn't find one for other family members. Mom and I could both use one. Dad is about to drive us crazy. We are still having to constantly re-teach him stuff that we've taught him the day before. He doesn't really get on the computer anymore, so he said there's about 7,000 emails in his inbox. I'll probably have to get his password and scan the emails for him, since he's not able to. I'm one of the Administrators for the family computer at parent's house., so Mom and Dad don't mind. Also help parents organize paper piles, but since I no longer live with them, my mom's paper pile is about waist high.
I'm getting tired. I had to take a muscle relaxer this morning because my back was hurting so bad. It still hurts a lot! I think I'm finally done rambling for the day.
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