Today I feel quite good about things because I know it's the weekend and I don't have to try at puting on a "front" at work for 2 whole days! Well, not until Monday anyway! It's a strain trying to pretend that nothing is wrong all week and it's quite exhausting having the voice in my head saying negative thoughts - it's really soul destroying! I think that is half my problem - the years of depression have eaten away at me - including my soul - and left me with an empty shell (that is what I am feeling today). Emotionally I don't feel like I have any left - in other words I just feel drained. It's not that I want to feel sorry for myself - I just don't know how to communicate with others and everything seems to weigh heavy on my shoulders - including everyday things that would normally be OK (or at least bearable) before. Though, if I'm honest, even those things never inspired me much, but I'm just used to making the best of it. So, where do I go from here? Do I try harder, smile, make myself think positive thoughts - or do I simply do nothing and carry on feeling miserable? If I knew what was making me miserable I would probably be able to turn things around - but it's just everything (with the exception of my home life, which at least is something I do feel happy about).