Well, it's been about a week now going without soda. It's been okay. I don't think I can cut the caffeine altogether though. I still love my coffee in the am. Sometimes a little Jasmine Green Tea in the afternoon. I had switched from regular to diet Coke a few months ago because of the sugar content of the regular. I found that drinking diet really made me want MORE sugar than if I had drank the regular... Maybe I'm just weird like that. I've been experiencing less anxiety lately, and that's a good thing. I don't freak out as bad about loud noises as I used to. Still don't like them, and they still startle me, but not as bad. Maybe it's less caffeine, maybe it's the medication starting to take effect.
I did start to feel a little depressed yesterday. I'm trying to fight it as best I can, but I just feel like a failure right now. I saw this guy on the transit the other day studying for an organic chemistry exam. I started thinking about when I took that class and how I wished that I had my act together better and learned more. Then I could have been successful in pharmacy school. I started thinking about what could have been. Then I got really depressed and started feeling guilty. I ended up with a degree, but not the one I really wanted, and not one that I use at all. But, I think, if I had continued on that path, I probably would not be where I am today - married to a good man with the best child in the entire world. Is it so bad to just want it all! *sigh* I just want to go home and go to bed.
I did start to feel a little depressed yesterday. I'm trying to fight it as best I can, but I just feel like a failure right now. I saw this guy on the transit the other day studying for an organic chemistry exam. I started thinking about when I took that class and how I wished that I had my act together better and learned more. Then I could have been successful in pharmacy school. I started thinking about what could have been. Then I got really depressed and started feeling guilty. I ended up with a degree, but not the one I really wanted, and not one that I use at all. But, I think, if I had continued on that path, I probably would not be where I am today - married to a good man with the best child in the entire world. Is it so bad to just want it all! *sigh* I just want to go home and go to bed.
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I am sorry you are hurting so bad today. God bless you.
Sorry you had a rough day. Soda is bad news. Try to switch to decaf green tea or water with a splash of fruit juice it\'s much healthier and less or no caffeine. I tried getting off caffeine but honestly I didn\'t see much difference. I\'m back to 1 or 2 servings a day. I try to drink 1/2 decaf/1/2 regular coffee when I do drink it. I am a big tea drinker too.
I often think of what could\'ve or would\'ve been. Not to be hypocritical, but it is too late for would\'ve and should\'ve we might as well focus on today and the future. That\'s the only time you can change. I know it\'s hard and I get in this rut too sometimes. I think of what life would be like if I had my parents here, at my wedding, at my graduation, etc. I think what it would be like if I went to college and got a better degree because now as an adult I realize I am pretty smart, but as a teenager I thought I was a big dumb loser and I didn\'t go to college until I was an adult and then I felt too old to get a big fancy degree so just got an associates. What would it be like if I had a kid? I\'ve never really deep down wanted one, but at the same time you don\'t know what it\'s like so you don\'t know what you are missing. We can all go on and on about what could\'ve and should\'ve but the fact is it\'s wasted energy. You sound like you have some good things going on, so focus on that and what you can do to make that better moving forward. Just my humble advice.
Oh sweetie, I know how you feel. I finished from Yale really young. I graduated early, and pushed myself so darn hard. The next year...when I was supposed to start my masters program...I was just so exausted. So I said to myself, Oh, I\'ll just take one year off. That was when I was 20. Now I\'m 26, and after years of saying how much I wanted to go back to school, I\'m finally doing it. But it took me 6 darn years to stop saying \"what if\" over and over.
So, made the choice...And know I\'m up to my ears in twins, school and a huge art commision that I\'m way behind on. I\'ve gone from one extreme to another...
It\'s so hard when we get in that place where we\'re so dissapointed in ourselves, I do that ALOT...But ebaby is right, in the end I guess it really doesn\'t get us anywhere (except for really depressed).
I\'m so sorry you\'re going through this right now, you sound just like I did 2 months ago...
And I did the exact same thing with my first degree...The path that I wanted was forensic psychology, but...I did so well in Econ. that I let a well meaning professor talk me into switching. And I tell you what, even though I was at the top of my class, I WAS SO UNHAPPY. Then onto a crazy fast paced career that I hated.
So, I think you\'re right. We both have wonderful husbunds and children that we adore. Would that have happened if our lives would have turned out as we planed in our heads? Probably not. I do beleive that fate puts us where we are for a reason.
I don\'t know if my gibbering helped at all, but know that you\'re not alone. If you ever want to whine about school, let me know...we can do it together!
I hope the meds help, and I\'m here for you. Wait...we\'re in school full time...we have 2 year olds!
All My Best Wishes, Lily
As if I didn\'t blab enough...Big Congrats on giving up soda!!!!!:)