What a difference a day makes!

I hope I remember this the next time I have a hard day: generally, the next day will be better just for the time past.  Today, I'm feeling good, confident, no problems (so far) with cravings or desires.  I went to the DENTIST again yesterday, to get my permanent crown.  I dreaded it all day, as usual, and was shocked when he wanted to grind on my tooth without novacain or nitrous oxide.  He assured me I would not feel it.  I have such sensitive teeth and have had pain so many times after being told I wouldn't, it took me forever to open my mouth and allow him to start!  I had broken out in a cold sweat panic.  As it turned out, there was no pain, with the grinding anyway.  There was some with the crown, but anyway, I made it through it.  I didn't even wish for a cigarette afterwards.  I had one little oops last night talking to my aunt on the phone.  Without going into a lot of hooplah, basically my one cousin is a dependent, obsessive-compulsive complainer, the other is polar opposite in just about every way EXCEPT she ALSO thinks she knows everything.  And my aunt is just as sweet as she can be.  She's 80, in an assisted living facility, and experiencing some financial stress that is causing her anxiety and subsequently depression.  We are working on trying to get her up to AR (she lives in LA) and I have unfortunately been the go-between to get everything arranged.  This had a lot to do with my problems this past weekend, because they are coming back THIS weekend, and my OCD self-absorbed cousin decided she needed to change all of our plans at the last minute, because SHE needed some ME time!  OOPS, I said I wasn't going into a big hooplah, but I guess it helped to get all that out!  Anyway, things are settling back down and getting arranged in spite of her, and I was having a pleasant conversation with my sweet aunt, and the next thing I know, I'm standing up looking for my shoes, planning to go outside and smoke!  For a while there, I felt pretty lost.  After I hung up, I did go outside and breathed a good long, deep, cleansing while, and everything was fine.  I feel like I'm back on-track, thanks in large part to all the support here.  Even when I wasn't writing anything, I was reading discussions.  One last thing, I did go for a nice, long walk last weekend (the best part of it) just me and the dog.  I think I may have picked out a house site as a long term goal (2-5 years).  I pictured myself looking out the kitchen window watching the sun setting over the ridge, and waking up watching the sun come up over the next ridge.  Beautiful.  Gotta go do group.  Thanks to all of you who continue to lend support!