So, I left a discussion post saying that I'm scared because I have been feeling so great lately, about 2 weeks, because last year at this time is when all my symptoms started. (does that make sense?) Anyway, so I was scared because I was afraid they would start back up again, I don't know if there's a pattern or not. Well, my fears are beginning to come true.Since Sunday, I have been in so much pain, having to up my dose of Baclofen. My whole body hurts. Feeling the fatigue come on again. Was taking a nap yesterday because I just couldn't stay up any longer. My oldest son, Joshua, woke me up to ask me a question, can't even remember what, and I couldn't breath right, talk, or move for about 2 minutes. I was laying on my right side with my left arm laying on my hip, and it was completly numb! Needless to say, it scared him to death. He wanted to go get my husband but I told him no, he stayed in there with me until I could get up. I had been dizzy all day, bumping into things and off balance. Feeling a little disconnected. So, what am I trying to say??? I really don't know. But I guess I was thinking I'm really okay, nothing is wrong with me, because I felt so good. So, I'm a little depressed right now.I had a good long talk with my husband last night. He has seemed so distant since all of this has started, almost selfish, or, how should I put it? Like he didn't believe how I was really feeling. So, I asked him last night if he was mad because he could see that I'm suffering or because It was disrupting his life. . .I thought he would get mad at me, but he didn't. He said he's mad because I have to go through this and he can't take it away. He doesn't understand what this suffering will accomplish, or why I have to go through it since I am a Christian. In other words, he doesn't see how God can use this. (refer to my journal entry 2/07). I told him God will use it for His glory. That it is bringing me closer to God, and It will be a great tesimony of my faith. I think he kind of understood, but not fully. On top of this, if you read my last entry, you know that my sister in law and niece are going through some health issues also, he says why all of us at the same time? So I told him, even though we can be angry and ask why, even though we can be mad at God and use it as an excuse to seperate ourselves from Him, we choose not to. People will learn by our faithfulness and Joy (even through our pain). The main thing is, it may bring someone to Christ that has the same problem, and doubts God's love for them. There is a reason for everything under the sun.Sorry this is so long, I try really hard to be positive in my journal, it's hard to write about my bad times, I feel like a complainer. But, hopefully someone will read this that really needs it. God is with us no matter what, and He will carry us through the worst of times, even though it seems you are walking alone. . .you aren't. He is always right there. Without Him, I could, in no way, go through this. I call on His strength everyday, even if I feel like i'm alone, I know that without a doubt, He is with me.I pray you feel His mighty presence.